Monday, October 31, 2005
Sat nite watched Full House until i really cant take it le & fell aslp at 3am.. woke up at 11am cos uncle din ask mi out for breakfast.. slept so long but the whole day was feeling super tired lor.. continue watching 2 disc den prepare myself to go out le.. went Ikea wif auntie, bro & meiyun.. total spend 100+ there.. bought hangers for skirts & pants de, clothes cover to cover my dresses, a quilt & its cover to replace my old blanket, a set of 6 boxes to rearrange my drawer, a pin board for all our earrings & necklaces.. den bro bought table mat, curtain rod & hangers too.. shopped for an hr den took train back.. bro take everytin back as i'm goin for dinner wif auntie.. so we went to Seng Kang to shop & wait for uncle to fetch us.. went G2000 bought a shirt & oso got the Everlasting Regrets vcd le.. wil watch it tis few days when i'm at hm..
the dinner was at Cheng San CC.. their official reopening.. was seated in the VIP zone.. inside the hall, air-conditioned.. 2 tables away fr our Prime Minister.. There are entertainments on the stage too.. Watched their lion & dragon dance troupe performing but stil i tin dey sucks lor.. JBCC is much much more beta.. dragon dance, jie ling gu.. & even the guys look beta lor.. lolx..
aft the dinner reached hm at 11+.. so late le. but anyway thou i'm tired but i stil din slp early..
so 2day was quite tiring.. there's a few tins ned to rush as its mth end le.. but managed to clear everytin aft lunchtime.. den i was so free until i duno wat to do.. den was told to act busy & make my desk abit messy else some ppl wil complain de.. kaoz.. nt tat i din do my work mah.. i finished everytin le leh.. i'm efficient.. lolx.. bu yao lian..
haiz.. sian.. tml no ned to work.. can go out late 2day but no programs leh.. even for the next few days, i'm very free lor.. no one date mi.. the only plan i hav is on fri.. wil b goin out wif e9 for ktv.. thou a few cant make it but i wun change the plan liao.. cos next wk mite b even worse to plan for an outing lor.. haiz.. or sld i plan & ask ppl to date mi to celebrate my bday for mi? sian lor..
nvm lata at hm watch finish Full House den continue my sammi movie.. tml if nth on den mayb pack my room lor.. but abit tired & lazy.. lolx.
8:00 PM
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Now i tin i've alot of words i wana say out but i duno how to express myself..
but 1 word for sure - SORRY.. to many gd frens out there.. i've made my probs their probs.. wich i sldn't hav do tis..
but now i noe, letting go is oso another form of happiness.. seeing him living happily, i'l oso feel happy.
& no matter wat, friendship is impt too.. so nth can affect it..
Tired of having wild tinkings.. sld stop here else how can i b happy?
Evening went to my cousin hse.. her baby gal named Megan.. Chinese is Zi Xuan.. So coincidence, same as Shermine lor.. lolx.
she looks adorable & had a pair of big round eyes..
& heard gd news again.. my cousin is expecting her 2nd child..
so next yr, wil c a total of 4 babies.. 3 of dem the birth dates r within 2 mths ba..
was finding frens to meet up aft my party.. but sian no one available lor.. so reached hm ard 8+pm.. den 10pm uncle called & ask mi out for supper.. had frog porridge at Hougang Ave 3 S-11.. famous fr Geylang Lor 9.
now busy watching the Korean show - Full House.. not bad.. wil watch til late den i'm real tired.. thou had 3 hrs of slp tis morning only..
tml afternoon goin Ikea wif bro & his gf & mayb my auntie.. taking the free shuttle bus fr SK.. cant go orchard wif Vivi to shop le.. :( next wk quite free but she's overseas.. haiz..
erm ok.. sld stop here.. wana concentrate watching my show le..
my mood now: i'm feeling ok..
12:22 AM
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Ytd on my way to work was trying to b hardworking.. reading my ISO notes cos 3pm is the test le..
Received a sms tat really brighten up my day.
As for the lunch appt, wif 4 Jap directors + 1 senior manager + a total of 8 gals from my dept (SCM) at Dragon Gate restaurant.. When we reached early, quickly occupied the seats inside leaving the seats outside for dem.. Its so stressed to have lunch wif dem le but stil dey suggest to change seats.. wana mixed guys in between lor.. & SHIT!! my col on my left was the 1st to exchange wif our BIG boss lor.. i was so shocked as i stil blur wats goin on lor.. ok lah he's gd looking.. but was so scared & paiseh lor.. but at least on my right is a gal.. UNFORTUNATELY she was asked to exchange her seat wif another director lor.. OMG!!! i'm the only gal sitting in between 2 guys lor.. can u imagine how stress it is? lost of words & din eat much lor but feels full. kaoz..
Went back office, less den 30 mins is the test le.. & my heart is stil beating fast lor..
The qns tat he asked my 'shifu' abit chim & i duno where to get the ans lor.. den when its abt my turn, he was reminded tat we r stil new.. so jus test us some simple qns.. for mi, my ans is nt fr the notes at al lor..
eg. wat is my job responsibilities? & where to find the quality policy in our intranet? lucky beforehand my shifu showed mi the fastest way to find it.. cos she was asked tis qns oso & went 1 big round to retreive it.. but there's a shortcut.. at least we all passed.. BUT the external audit is on the 7,8 Nov.. i wun b involve much too. but in future i tin i'l fail ba.. cos the test is ongoing de.. ISO 9000 & 14000..
aft work, meeting ying, hh & hp at orchard.. in the end i waited for ying at Harbourfront mrt & went down to meet hp as hh wil b late.. den went isetan to shop & had our dinner at NYDC@Wheellock.. asked deen to come den ying wil ask jian to come too.. but tis lazy jian din come lor.. anyway deen stil came thou he's the only guy..
photos taken.. c how fortunate deen is.. lolx :D
cant go clubbing or ktv cos it wil b quite late for dem.. dey mus go hm early.. but shops closing le.. cant shop liao.. how leh? in the end landed at Starbucks drink coffee & chatted.. den dey 4 shared a cab back & i went to take train alone.. reached hm aft 12am le.. came online wana edit the photos.. den vivi & eliaz wana go mustafa to buy cable.. din wana go de lor cos of some reasons.. but in the end i stil went.. cos she dun wan mi to stay at hm & is on their way to fetch mi le.. haiz.. giv her face lor.. & we actually stayed there shopping for hrs lor.. kaoz.. cant believe it.. reached hm ard 5.30am, fell aslp soon... almost 24 hrs din slp lor.. & i woke up at 8.30am, until now...
there's smth tat i sldn't say at al.. to the wrong person too..
gotta watched my words carefully.. so stupid of mi, i wun noe whether my words wil affect anyone cos i dun tin so far.. jus type wat's in my mind.. but for tis i'm very sure i wun blurt a word..
2day wil b staying at hm, evening goin Pasir Ris my cousin's hse for her baby girl's full mth bday.. aft tat wana stay hm? else where to go? dun tin anyone is free for mi lor. haiz..
aft blogging mayb can start watching the korean vcd - Full House wich my bro had jus burned out..
& meiyun bought another Korean serial show lor.. in fact i've alot of korean vcd to watch le.. but smtimes lazy but jus wana go out lor..
tml goin ikea to buy hangers.. lolx.. siao rite? go al the way there to buy.. haha :D
meiyun monday start her attachment at CAAS le so tml mus go else she'l b busy. but i oso wana go bugis leh.. wana c earrings..
ting promise she'l ask mi out next wk go shopping.. at least 1 day i got a date le.. but hope she wun 'put aeroplane' lor.. ying too.. haha ;p who else wana ask mi out? keke =x
current status: single & but dun wish to b available.. if i keep on sms-ing, either my gal frens or a guy.. & tat guy is Mr Llewell.. haha.. my listening ears... hear mi complain al the times.. so gd wif him but din meet him since my last bday.. lolx almost a yr le.. haha.. only wil call or sms lor.. everytime when i'm alone waiting for frens, i'l call him to keep mi company so i wun b so bored.. but everytime wil kena say lor.. cos everytime i'm waiting for ppl de.. but tis is mi lor.. i dun like to let ppl wait. i can b patient..
next outing wif e9 mite nt b able to c hp le.. cos she's having her exam fr 7th nov.. doreen? long time din c her le.. aft our last meeting on 9th Sep. oh.. tis is the day tat i'l rem clearly wat programs i had tat nite.. do u stil rem? no ba?
wah.. spending 1 hrs to write tis post.. so long ah? ok.. so long winded..
12:36 PM
Thursday, October 27, 2005
So fast thursday le.. Wkend coming soon.. but tinking next wk got 2 holiday, i feel sad. cos i got no date, gotta b alone at hm. :( so sian.. one sld b happy, lookin forward to holiday de mah..
mon & wed aft work went hm straight. went to c Shermine.. she's getting cuter & adorable each day.. & now she can stand by herself le.. she's only 7+ mth old.. took some photos of her..
Baby loves watching commercial.. especially food..
tue went to meet vivi & her fren (chanel & her mum) at wheellock & had our dinner at a Jap restaurant..
the atmosphere nt bad.. den went wisma & walk down to cp & meet him. went hm aft tat as i was quite tired le..
tis few days felt tired.. y leh? is it bcos i slp earlier den last mth? slp too much stil feel tired.
now oso quite tired BUT cant slp yet.. mus study my ISO.. cos tml wil b having the test at 3pm. hav to ans 4 qns.. & oso got a lunch appt wif my big bosses.. stress sia..
now eating grapes.. duno y mama bought de looks so dark & its BIG lor..
tml wil b meeting ying, hh & hp go orchard shopping.. yeah!! but aft shopping where to go? dey mus go back early de lor.. den how? sian..
sat oso cant hav any plan.. cos mus go my cousin hse in the evening.. her baby full mth..
den next sat my ah-ma bday.. den the wk aft next wil c wich gd soul wana ask mi out le.. haha..
7:42 PM
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Haiz.. as expected..
Whole day staying at hm lor.. staring at the pc, dl songs, burn cd, upload to my ext hdd & had my nap the whole afternoon.. thou i'm really tired, but i'm nt in deep slp.. duno y but jus keep waking up & look at my hp. hoping for someone's msg.. stupid gal rite? haha..
tml hav to go SGH to do blood test.. sian hav to take time off..
haven study my ISO yet.. so lazy & tired..
was tokin online wif jh.. planning when to go ktv again.. but cant cfm a date yet.. so hav to ask the most busiest ppl for their free day den can plan.. for mi, i anyday anytime oso can de.. cos i super free..
ytd we was tokin to my auntie.. my cousin was planning to get married next yr 06/06/06.. but for mi, i wan mine to b on 08/08/08.. nt to follow the trend but tat was my plan few yrs back.. e9 frens all noe abt tis.. lolx.. den bro said he'l get married on 09/09/09 lor.. & he's alr tinkin of getting married early & let ah-ma c her 1st great-grandchild.. but tis is stil too early to say as he stil haven serve his ns yet..
Oh yah.. ytd oso saw my uncle & auntie's photos.. dey went to HK Disneyland.. stayed 2 nites there.. its was so fun & the photos taken, hotel & the designs r all so nice.. i wish i can go for a tour there too.. who wana go wif mi? other den goin to BKK for shopping or KL/Genting, my dream holiday getaway wil b Disneyland.. so mus save $ le.. to fulfil my dream myself..
so will my dreams come true?
was tinking sld i put pwd to my blog? cos smth is bothering mi & i wun noe wat i sld or sldn't blog abt.. if i did post it, i din noe tat i'm actually hurting someone.. but tats nt wat i wan lor.. if i put pwd, den only selected ppl wil noe & i dun hav to worry so much rite? so sld or sld not put pwd prompt? but prob is who r my frequent viewers? haiz.. tin ppl who read oso wil get fed up.. cos of my poor english.. lolx.. but tats mi.. jus type out wats in my mind at tat pt of time.. din hav to phrase it well..
8:29 PM
Hmm.. Wat i did on thur? Oh yah.. Aft work came hm & waited for bro to drive mi to Sheng Siong to shop for my biscuits.. Bought alot to replenish the stock for my office.. hehe ;p Get to noe tat QF is sick for a few days le & din went to work. duno y jus worried for him & wana visit him lor..
On fri, at work was so relax.. nth to do.. & half of my dept seniors r on leave or half-day.. jus wait for time to pass only.. but too free oso no gd.. cos i doze off lor.. my plan aft work was to go lavender b4 meeting my frens at orchard as dey 7+ den can reach.. but asked le he's goin out so din go le lor.. so aft work went alone to PS to shop den slowly walk down to wisma..
Eh.. mi & him really got nth le but duno y i jus wana visit him when he's sick lor. jus concern for him..
Met stacey & ting at wisma & had our dinner there. den walked down to cine to meet deen..
Watched Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo at 10.05pm den aft the movie, was deciding where to go next.. a place to chill out or clubbing.. anyway mi & ting is anytin de lah.. so it was our 1st time visiting a club.. haha :D
So off we went to Momo.. was tinkin who wil i c there, any familiar faces, wil he b clubbing tat nite too?
Did saw my cousin & 4 Epson colleagues.. so coincidence lor..
Now i tin goin to a club is ok for mi.. but abit stupid to go if u dun dance or drink rite? haha..
In the past i tin a club is so smelly cos of the smokes.. but aft goin there, it was quite alrite for mi since i've gradually accept my bf to smoke.. dun really like lah but i cant force dem to quit cos its hard so jus let dem b & do watever dey r happy wif lor.
@ Momo, i prefer staying at the live band room.. walking pass the dance floor only i felt giddy by the lights lor.. cant stand there at all.. so tat area is nt for mi..
Asked the 3 guys to enjoy demself den we gals wil entertain ourselves.. no worries.. but awhile lata, 2 guys approach us..
dey had a fren who was drunk & had been lying there for quite some time le, & these 2 guys request us to help dem wake his fren up as he has to leave for america, but duno y ask mi to take photo wif his fren.. weird rite?
but i rejected no matter wat dey say lor.. its nt tat i'm nt helpful but i'm protecting myself.. cos u wun noe wat dey'l do wif ur photo rite? den stacey offered to help dem take a photo of dem & his fren lor.. hehe.. den we quickly leave tat place..
so suay, tat nite got police raid.. heard fr deen there's a fight at the dancefloor earlier on, 20 mins lata the police came..
haha but mi & ting did enjoyed ourselves tat nite.. told ying ytd.. & she oso wana go lor.. so told deen to find 1 fri nite & get more ppl den we go 2gether lor.. cant everytime go ktv oso mah.. but b4 my bday, we wil go to tis 2 places k..
Sat slp at 5am & woke up at 9am.. went to cousin hse for mahjong session.. luck wasn't gd so play 2 rounds & stopped.. not enuf kakis oso lah.. had buffet & tok lor.. Her hse was at tiong bahru, jus opp the Hawker lor.. & quite near to go harbourfront fr there lor.. so in future can put some clothings & my stuff there.. booked a room fr her.. lolx.. but now no bed yet lor, stil ask mi go stay.. kaoz..
den saw my uncle taking the new N70, the fone tat i'm wishing for.. the camera very clear lor.. gd gd.. eh.. he noe i wan tat fone, so hope he'l change wif mi aft he had fun using it le.. hehe ;p if nth happen, i'l b taking my dream fone soon.. lolx ;D
2day no plan yet.. but he's off 2day.. wat m i hoping?
daydreaming only lor..
2nite mus flip my ISO notes le.. tis wk is the internal audit, den on the 8, 9 Nov is external audit..
so sian..
was tinking of buying the materials & do cross-sitch for myself.. but prob is i duno how to do leh.. die..
wana sew my name on it & frame up den i can put at my desk liao mah..
or is there any kind soul wana do it for mi? keke ;p
Pics taken at Wisma, Cineleisure & Momo..
Outing & Clubbing wif Ting, Stacey & Deen + Brian & his fren.
11:16 AM
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Last nite i had a heart attack by some words.. I din expect tis to happen cos it can nv come true de lor..
I'm sorry to U.. I dun wana hurt myself & i choose to b stupid for the rest of my life.. i wun giv anyone chance.. cos i dun trust guys. I wun go into any relationship if i dun love u. w/o love, there is no gd ending.
was chatting wif my col tis afternoon.. a mother of 2 & had a nice & caring husband. a happy family.. tats wat i wan too. envy her so much. den tok abt mi, she tot i was lying to her tat i'm single now.. cos she noe i had him.. she oso cant believe tat he's the 1 tat choose tis ending.. cos to her, usually it wil b the gal who initiate the breakup 1. but now tins r nt the same le.. haiz.. den she's tinkin in office is there any guys stil single.. lolx.. but too bad, most r married & a few younger ones got steady le..
since u noe tat guy's existence le, wil u get jealous? out of curiousity or cos u care abt mi den u ask so many qns? dun really wana let u noe de but since u noe le den i hav to clarify lor.. i mind wat u tin & feel.. if u free u can find mi or accompany mi. i wish for tat day to come lor.. but wil u? no other ppl wil pei mi..
but anyway i wun accept any guys now, cos in my heart there's stil u. thou kept in the deepest place, the feeling is stil there.
who is tat her? i duno.. but i wish to noe. who can tel mi? noe le wil only hurt more but now i felt sad lor.. duno sld i msg u, wat to tok? haiz..
enuf of al these...
tis morning b4 waking up got muscle cramp.. so painful, tried to relax & massage but no use.. cant even stand straight lor. 2day got appt at SGH, went there but its a waste of my time lor.. c tat doctor, jus say i need to do a detailed blood test & if suspect kidney prob aft al tests dey wil ned to extract a tissue of my kidney... y like tat? problematic.. tok to mi for 30 mins den i mus go take new appt date.. haiz.. sian mus take blood again.. so scared.. how's their skill? if like my raffles medical doc den i dun mind lah.. cos she's so skillful tat i'm nt scare & dun feel the pain. got 1 day mc, was tinkin if i sld go back to work anot cos my leg is so painful.. but stil i went back le.. cos i dun wana get unpaid leave.. luckily i went back.. there's lots of work waiting for mi.. thanx to my col, she did some for mi le.. work til 7pm 2day to finish everytin.. so tired.
felt abit cold, muscle stil pain, heart pain, headache, tired.. wah so much prob.
8:37 PM
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
"Two tear drops were floating down the river. One teardrop said to the other,
"I'm the teardrop of a girl who loved a man and lost him. Who are you?"...
"I'm the teardrop of the man who regrets letting a girl go..."
Nobody will sympathize a person who constantly let chances pass by without making any efforts to salvage them. We normally don't realize how important our loved and closed ones are until they leave us, and then we start to regret. And that result in MISERY.
7:30 PM
Monday, October 17, 2005
Went to my cousin wedding ytd.. can consider as a budget wedding lor..
it was held at Expo Foyer 2 Bliss Garden Restaurant.. but its in a Ballroom lah..
bad sound system.. gowns & makeup nt nice lor..
wah.. got so many comments.. guess i mus really start saving up $ now if i wan mine to b perfect.
my target: 3 yrs lata to settle down.. but wil tis day come? until now stil no one wans mi lor.. : (
wana b a pretty bride, cos its once a lifetime only.. i wan everytin to b planned nicely.
noe wat my uncle said.. now ppl wil test-drive 1st b4 gettin married, to cfm the gal can giv birth.
haha..
Some gd news.. Next yr i'l hav 3 doggy babies - 1 cousin, 2 niece/nephew.. So happy.. but i look forward for piggy leh..
Can relax now.. cos my ISO test postpone to next wk.. can slack le.. but my col say nt jus memorise fr the notes lor.. some qns oso came fr the daily work/procedures tat i'm doing. Heng ah.. cos manager on urgent leave den tat ISO guy suddenly so kind, allow us to postpone..
Ke lian de Vivi.. Fall sick le.. mus take gd care of urself k..
Time passes really fast..
mth end i was doin some updating work, next wk i ned to do the updating again le.. its been a mth lah but it seems like last wk jus did it lor..
so it means i'm getting older soon. : (
Vivi, jus enjoy ur holiday wif Eliaz.. dun worry abt mi.. my frens wil celebrate for mi de.. if dey dun den i find ppl to help mi celebrate lor.. if really so cham, den i'l cel alone lor. I jus wish 'someone' to cel it for mi.. ; )
I wana watch movie.. can ask mi out?
Waiting for Andy Lau's All About Love.. 27th Oct..
Waiting for Everlasting Regrets' vcd to b out.. cos i haven watch the movie yet..
Wana watch some of the films wich r showing now..
but all i'm waiting now is ur call.. :D
Haiz.. Duno y felt headache.. now at hm, smtimes feel cold but my body is hot..
Ying is back fr China.. Yeah!! waitin for her to ask mi out when she's free.. :)
Tis wk basically i'm free everyday except Sat cos goin to my cousin for hse-warming.
I felt i'm so troublesome.. irritating.. giv ppl so much prob.. never ending probs.. 1 aft another.. back to sq 1 again..
Hate being alone.. Hate tis life i'm having now.. Wan 'someone' to take care of mi..
7:45 PM
Saturday, October 15, 2005
No mood to study leh.. very lazy ah.. tin tml den mus really start le.. but duno wat qns tat guy wil ask leh.. by tue mus understand abit. anyway its open book test lah.. mus noe where to find the ans lor..
Wah.. 2day ah-ma's 80 yrs old bday ah.. din noe lor.. tot 70+ only.. haha..
1 mth lata wil b my bday le.. how to celebrate leh? who wil cel wif mi? 16th is a wed leh.. tat day mus work. cant countdown or wat le.. :(
Strictly dun drink.. pls dun force mi k.. ;p thanx.
Cute hor.. did carried her but din take photo.. wasted.. :(
4:07 PM
I'm so tired now.. cos i jus slp for 2 hrs last nite..
Ytd met Ting, Stacey & Brian aft work at MS for dinner den KTV lor.. By rite sang til 12.30 only de but dragged to 3am lor.. how tired can we b? all hav to wake up early 2day lor.. but nvm cos i'm nt the only blurred 1.. so reluctant to wake up, blur blur de, can find the button to stop my alarm too. but whole day at work i look find. din doze off. jus yawn for smtimes & eyes like wana close le.. but i dun feel tat tired aft all.. so 2day aft work stil went orchard meet Meifen & Jiahao.. Went to the new food court at Wisma for dinner den tinkin wan watch movie or shop or ktv.. so walked down to Cine but 9+ show was either selling fast or sold out. & we din wana watch midnite. so tis plan was cancelled. den went to check price for ktv @ kbox & partyworld lor.. in the end ended up at Cuppage Partyworld.. but lucky 2day sing til 12am only.. & Mf bb sent mi hm.. so nice ;p
abit siao hor.. a person who dun like to sing ktv de duno y can go ktv for 2 consecutive days lor.. duno where i got the guts to sing in front of dem.. mayb dey saw my ugliest look le ba.. but tis applies to my poly buddies only.. hehe ;p
Played for 2 days le, enjoyed myself.. so happy too.. but the next 2 days cant go out le.. tml ah-ma's bday celebrate at hm den sun my cousin wedding held at Expo mo-mo restaurant.. but while at hm, i hav smth very important to do.. ISO 14000 & 9000.. OMG!! have to memorise & understand everytin lor.. cos tue got internal audit le.. tat guy expect us to noe everytin & ans his qns well.. printed the notes & brought hm to study lor.. sian.. 1 yr din study, memorise or take test le.. duno my brain rusty le mah.. lolx :D
got a few movies tat i wish to watch.. waiting for SOMEONE to ask mi out lor.. wil he? or wil tis day come?
Ok tired now le.. wana go Zzz le..
12:53 AM
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
I'm single and ready to mingle
I like someone
There is someone I really like, and is hoping he will ask me out
I'm single but i hate it with a passion
I'm heartbroken
I want someone I can never have...
Went SGH 2day for my appt.. Seems like i'm the youngest patient in the clinic.
Had ultrascan only.. & made a few more appt date lor.. wif another specialist (19 Oct), for xray (18 Nov), for blood & urine test (any date) den back to c the same specialist (25 Nov) again.. so decided to go back to work aft settled everytin..
still under probation & was only given 3 sick leave.. had taken 1 alr so left 2 more days.. aft counting, each appt i can take half day sick leave lor..
so now stil duno wats went wrong.. & hope i'l b fine. heard my col saying last time she oso had the same prob but aft goin thru so much tests, dey discharge her cos couldn't find wats the prob. hope i'm like her.. hehe ;p
Like Yang Chen Ling, Liang Jing Ru new album.. nice nice..
Heard tat my bro & her gf bought alot of tins back fr BKK.. last nite din go kpo wat dey bought.. dey got mi a t-shirt too.. & this
nice rite? handicraft.. but its too big to put at my desk le.. so have to keep it at hm. so gotta search for 1 to put in office.. hehe ;p
oh tml is sis's bday le.. din get her anytin.. anyway she's nt coming hm tis few days.. so nvm lah.. keke ;p
very soon mine wil b coming.. was tinkin how sld i spend my day? sad to say, i've to work lah.. who wil celebrate wif mi? i noe e9 buddies sure wun forget mi de.. but other ppl leh? esp tat someone.. oopz.. y m i daydreaming now.. kokz. tot wun b alone tis yr... haiz..
7:18 PM
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Mama no gd.. so biased.. dote on bro so much..
No matter wat he did, al r rite.. wun get scolding, gets wat he wans..
Unlike mi & sis, gets warning.. nag at mi.. haiz.. so 'fan'..
So aware of wat time he's getting hm lata.. but mi leh.. tml goin for my appt @ SGH, she dun rem lor.. & i oso dun bother to ans her..
Haiz.. wat can i say.. cos he's a guy lor.. wun get cheat de so no worries..
Even if every relationship i go into, she'l sure say the same old words.. heard enuf le so i wun listen anymore.. i go wif my feeling.. choose whoever tat i tin he's the man for mi. even if suay suay smth bad happen, i can only blame myself & suffer everytin..
Saying mi i noe is for my gd lah.. cos mayb she saw mi heartbroken le & dun wan mi to suffer.. hope i can live happily..
Jus saw lights shining outside so went to the windoes & c.. oh Yew Keng.. very grand lor but too bad i missed the flower lorries.. den sms qf.. told mi he noe cos he's there.. kns.. din tel mi.. passed by hougang lor..
9:51 PM
Being a single there r pros & cons.. but to mi.. i dun like to b single.. i love to b wif the 1 i loved. spending all my time wif him happily is the greatest moment in life & i treasure dem. thou there wil b restrictions to wat u do but i dun mind. anyway i dun flirt wif other guys so i dun ned to b single.. & oso bcos i dun wish anyone to get hurt so jus b a gd gf can le..
but now i doubt so le.. i'm single again & i've to get used to tis life.. wat can i do now? finding frens out? but where to go? dey go clubbing wich i dun.. so sld i start learning how to drink or like tat kind of noisy place? but how many frens can i find? all hav their own life, who wil wana b wif mi? i noe frens r always out there to giv mi watever support i ned. i really thanx dem & their advice. but its my mind & heart controlling mi.. being too emotional & puts so much effort in each relationship le tats y i'm the 1 tat hurt most. in fact i had quite a few experience le but i jus nv learn a lesson. serve mi rite..
No matter wat i tin i mus like the life of being single & i tin i'l remain in tis stage for long. cos i dun wish to trust any guys le. had enuf of all tis.. heaven is making fun of mi?
fr now on, i'l try to forget u.. but u'l stil b in my heart, in the deepest place. cos if i can forget u, i'l hav do it much earlier le. dun worry, i'l find a way & make myself happy.
i dun blame u cos one sided love wun work de.. but i'm glad its u tat helped mi forget abt him. thanx & sorry..
wil change topic of my post le..
so tired now.. lie in bed & wil fall aslp le.. but i stil dun wish to slp.
I guess I CAN DO IT.. 2day too busy wif work le.. so din tin of u all the time.. if everyday like tat den wil b gd for mi.. been telling myself nt to tin, cnt tin..
Wah!! tml no ned to work.. wil b taking mc cos goin SGH.. duno how long wil it take.. but aft tat wil go hm rest..
Tis yr Epson d&d wil b held at Hyatt on 9 Dec.. Stil able to cope wif my work. but the workload is increasing.. more responsibilities..
Now got a few movies tat i wana watch.. but wil u ask mi out for movie?
Jus read 2006 chinese horoscope.. my col sent mi de.. who wan, i can email u.. but pig next yr like nt very gd leh..
Haiz.. My fren said i'm naive.. Mayb tats y i'm easily cheaT & fall into ur hands.. r those i met bad guys? den where r the gd ones? r dey trustworthy?
6:43 AM
Monday, October 10, 2005
At tat time, I was touched by ur gentleness and softness... U helped mi to forget abt my past relationship those unhappiness & heartache.. Thanks for being so nice to mi.
I stil cant tin of a gd reason y tis would happen.
Yes, i wish u happiness wif a smile but who noes how painful my heart is now..
I told u i try to b fren wif u but is tis possible? No one can replace u. & no one is there to pull mi out fr the dark now jus like wat u did tat time..
My happiness, u took it all away.. Now i'm searching for my new happiness..
Sorry for everything.. Sorry that i din spare a tot for ppl. I wun blame anyone.. cos everytin is fated..
9:44 PM
Sunday, October 09, 2005
Managed to find my fren for movie tis evening.. chose a 5.30 show so tat when it ended, stil got time for mi to had dinner wif dem & i had some plan in mind. but when i msg him, my plan failed, heart fell off the cliff.. Tinkin of meetin him & go hm together, but he told mi he mite b meetin his frens out. I even asked if he can bring mi along? haha.. when was abt to dismiss, i called him to cfm but thou he haven cfm wif his frens yet, i stil hav to go back alone. Mi & my frens walked down dhoby ghaut, abt 9 walked pass CP, was keeping a look.. haha.. stupid rite? & my speed was very slow lor.. cos i'm hoping to c u.
wat can i do now? hav to forget abt tis short period lor..
10:06 PM
11:59 AM
Wat m i lookin for now?
Someone tat love mi like i love him (dun hav to b the same amt),
someone tat i'l b happy to b wif,
someone who appreciate wat i did for him..
I'm willing to put in all my effort, to do watever tins within my ability for him..
Even if tins tat i dislike, if no choice, i stil wil giv in de lor.
& tats mi.. stupid of mi.. falling so much le stil nv learnt my lesson.. duno y guys wil like to fool on mi..
Full of promises & sweet words, but all r lies..
Ok gals wld like to hear tat but dey mus come fr a heart tat is true to dem wat..
I noe its their loss to lose someone who love dem.. but for wat use leh? cos the 1 getting hurt is mi only.
I got no confidence & duno wat can i do le.. taken the initiative but hear tat kind of response, wat wld i tin? SORRY, ITS THE END. no 2nd chance. m i rite? sld giv up alr..
Was toking my feelings to my fren.. a guy, my listener..
den i found out tat my feelings to u & to my ex(s) r different lor..
aft breaking up wif any of dem, we'l stil b in contact but jus normal frens lor.. wun hav any uncomfortable feeling. but u r special.. aft so long, when i meet u again, i'l feel nervous (i tin, dun really noe how to describe tat feeling), dun dare to tok much to u oso.. who noes until now, the feeling to u is stil there.. tats y now when i c u, i duno how to face u, duno wat to tok.. nt tat i like to remain silent lor.. i'm happy to c u, at least i'm wif u but yet the feeling is so weird.
haiz.. wat exactly m i tinkin? wat i really wan? sld i giv up? rather den regret at the end, y dun treasure wat u hav now?
u r too gd to everyone le.. i'l get jealous lor thou i din say out.
i noe to u, everytin i've to say out else u wun noe.. even if i say out le got wat use? wil u stil care wat i tin?
i can feel tat u stil concern abt mi.
12:23 AM
Saturday, October 08, 2005
12:00 PM
Friday, October 07, 2005
Was very tired now but nvm, cos i felt happy. Ytd aft work went suntec meet Vivi & Eliaz. Went to shop for awhile b4 heading to CP to find him. Wished to c him so much, but when i'm standing in front of him, i dun dare to look at him & duno wat to say to him so i kept silent. My mind is confusing now.. I noe tat i wan u, wana b wif u. but i'm wondering wat's in ur mind, how's ur feeling now? i cant tin of any gd reason for u to leave mi. is it tat i did smth wrong? or the feeling tat u hav when u r wif mi is diff fr the 1 tat u had wif ur ex? Thou i duno dem, but i felt i'm nt up to standard to compare wif dem. dey r too gd le, cos ur feeling for dem can last so long. felt so low now. How den can i b wif u again? Ned mi to take initiative? but wil u giv mi the chance? I duno wat i sld do now.. but my mind is filled wif u every sec. Can u make my life happier? Duno y my life is so miserable.. put in all my effort to love someone but in the end will get hurt deeply. Tel mi wat i sld do, & i'l do it within my ability, for my loved one, i'm willing to do. I din change myself bcos of anyone. but i noe i'm stupid, idiot. tats wat u've say mi.
ARGH!!!!!! so stressed & confused now..
6:40 AM
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Now, 2day i guess my mood will b gd.. still nt very gd but beta den last few days.. cos 2nite i get to meet vivi & him.
Last nite had a nice slp too.. cos b4 slpin, he did called mi, thou vivi asked him to cal de. Den chatted in msn too. but jus slp for 6 hrs i tin i'm happy too.
i'm so glad tat u stil concern abt mi. but jus concern to a fren? but i dun wana b jus a fren.
Last nite my fren asked mi how m i, cos fr my msn nick he tins tat i'm desperate, no gd. but i'm jus missing him, nt desperate cos i wana find my happiness.
But out of no reason, duno y he told mi he got alot of gals wana b wif him but he reject.. oh is it true? but y tel mi? haha.. nt my prob wat..
but i tin its beta tat guys dun treat mi so gd, dun like mi. cos i've had enuf of sadness.. alr noe how painful it can b aft been thru twice. did told myself to find smone tat love mi more den i love him.. but tis doesn't work.. beginning, yes the guy love mi more but as time goes by, i went deeper into the well lor.. & now tats where i m.. cant get out of it again.
6:39 AM
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
You'll never know
how much your smile lights up the room or
your laughter fills my soul,
making all the little problems of the day disappear.
You'll never know
how much it means to me when you do or
say something thoughtful and totally unexpected
�X usually just at the moment I need it most.
You'll never know
how much pride I hold in my heart for
the person you are and the things you do
�X for your strength and your gentleness,
your courage and your determination,
your accomplishments and your dreams.
You'll never know
how much I need you by my side
�X in the best of times and the worst of times
and all the times in between.
It really doesn't matter where we are or
what we're doing, as long as we're together to share it all.
I love you with all my heart and soul.
You'll never know how much.
7:57 PM
I'm in office now.. Nth to do leh.. Wana slp le.. Did doze off again lor.. heng nt caught.
My shi-fu on urgent leave 2day. i'm alone & nt much work cos i finished all le.
Now waiting for time to pass lor.
Wondering who wana watch Everlasting Regrets, can accompany mi go? cos i've asked him but i dun tin he'l like tat show & smmore he's busy so mayb forget it lor.
Misplaced my bankbook :( jus now went DBS to replace it. Have to pay $15. sian.. duno where i put it le. dun let me c it again.. haha.. updated it & found tat i'm poorer le.. QF did return mi on time. but jus tat i spent the $ on medical le so i left so little in my bank now lor.
Saw him on msn, did msg him but i din wait for his reply & i sign out le. cos either i'm goin bed le or goin to work. but jus now msg him askin him abt his physical test for ns, failed pull-ups = everytin failed. so have to retake again. sian.. really waste of time lor. but running he can pass.. gd lor. Really miss him alot.. really no chance le mah?
Tml u off rite? wil u find mi? or wan mi to find u? duno when vivi wil ask mi out. u wana come along? is it wierd? erm.. i duno.
Sad & bored now lor.. time quick pass.. i wan go hm find shermine le. ned her help to destress.
3:28 PM
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Thanks Hh for accompany mi 2day.. meeting her at 6.45pm but i reach city hall at 6pm le so went Raffles City shop alone.. Had our dinner at MS Sakae den shop awhile.. bought a formal shoe at 1/2 price.. aft tat went hm le.. Was tired now..
Tis fri bro was goin to BKK le.. til next tue.. Ying goin China tis sat til next fri. Frens all busy.. So i'm all alone again. Where can i go if i dun wana stay at hm? who can i find?
So gd of hh.. told her i next wed goin SGH den she c i goin alone, she say she'l try to get mc & accompany mi go. thanx gal.. muack muack.. keke ;p
I wana watch Sammi's movie 'Everlasting Regrets'.. anyone interested to go wif mi? or i hav to go watch alone?
Take NEL alight at Dhoby Ghaut is gd.. cos get to c Sammi poster.. haha :D
Miss you badly : (
9:39 PM
Monday, October 03, 2005
2day mood nt very gd. mayb last nite din slp well oso ba..
tis morning woke up got headache, felt so tired.. in office, doing some work until i almost doze off.. eyes can hardly open.. & the pain stil there..
wats wrong wif mi? even did smth wrong, but luckily minor stuff.. faxed to the wrong person.. oopz =p
2day bro went TTSH for appt wif the specialist.. so gd, his gf accompany him there.. den i was tinkin next wed my turn to go SGH for appt.. who wil accompany mi go? Guess i'm alone like now lor..
fr now on quite free again le.. tml meetin hh go city hall to shop, den go eat sakae @ MS.. ying & mf mite b joining us. den still waiting for Vivi's reply c wich day she wana meet mi. other den tis 2 date, i'm all alone le..
Ytd whole day stayed at hm.. so bored. even my col oso wonder y i so gd can stay at hm whole day.. its bo bian, nt i wan de.. but anyway ytd spent my day wif Enen & oso helping my cousin wif her art. Create css for my friendster & edit my blog posts.
Tok to mf last nite.. fr my blog she noe smth wrong den tok to mi lor.. told her wat weaknesses i have, but she encourage mi say i can turn my weaknesses into strengths.. Anyway i jus got no confidence in myself lor. i'm pessimistic. so even u told mi in the future mite b together again or wat, i jus cant tin in tat way lor.. cos i duno y u wld choose to leave mi now & come back to mi aft tat.. so cruel of u.. but i got no rights to blame u. but now jus let u have ur own personal space. cos i duno wat exactly u wan now. din noe the main reason & oso dun wish to noe cos afraid of getting hurt deeper.
7:33 PM
Sunday, October 02, 2005
Don't be too good I will miss you.
Don't be too caring, I might like you.
Don't be too Sweet, I might fall for you.
It's hard for me to love you when you won't love me after all...
Bottom-line :
A person who makes me love him is actually a person who loves me more than I love him.
________________x________________________x_____________
If someone comes into your life and becomes a part of you but for some reasons he couldn't stay, don't cry too much...
Just be glad that your paths crossed and; somehow he made you happy even for a while.
Bottom-line :
Time will tell. If he's yours he will surely come back. ________________x________________________x__________
Don't throw your back to love when it's already in front of you.
Don't drive it away from you because if you do, someday you'll think again why you let love fly away when it was once residing next to you.
Bottom-line :
Treasure the one who loves you! It's not easy to find a person who loves you. It's always more valuable to have a sincere heart.
________________x________________________x_____________
The greatest regrets in our lives are the risks we did not take.
If you think something will make you. happy, GO FOR IT.
Remember that we pass this way only once.
Bottom-line :
Time doesn't wait.
If you think you might have found the right one, treasure the person, don't let that person get away.
Don't let fear hold You back. Give it a try else you might regret later...
"No one other than ourselves know what can truly make us happy." ________________x________________________x_____________
Two tear drops were floating down the river.
One teardrop said to the other,
"I'm the teardrop of a girl who loved a man and lost him. Who are you?" ...
"I'm the teardrop of the man who regrets letting a girl go..."
Bottom-line :
Nobody will sympathize with a person who constantly lets chances pass by without making any efforts to salvage them.
We normally don't realize how important our loved and close ones are until they leave us, and then we start regretting, which results in misery.
Lost time is NEVER gained again.
10:03 PM
If a girl cries in front of you, it means that she couldn't take it anymore.
If you take her hand, she would stay with you for the rest of your life.
If you let her go, she couldn't go back to being herself anymore.
A girl won't cry easily,
Except in front of the person who she love the most, she becomes weak.
A girl won't cry easily,
only when she love you the most, she put down her ego.
Guys,
If a girl cries bcoz of you, please hold her hands firmly, she's the one who would stay with you for the rest of your life.
Guys,
If a girl cries bcoz of you, please don't give her up, maybe bcoz of your decision, you ruin her life.
When she cry rite infront of you, when she cry bcoz of you,
Look into her eyes,
Can u see n feel the pain n hurt she's feeling?
Think.
Which other girl have cried wif pure sincerity, infront of you, and bcoz of you?
She cry not because she is weak.
She cry not bcoz she wan sympathy or pity.
She cry, because crying silently is no longer possible.
The pain, hurt n agony have become too big a burden to be kept inside.
Guys,
Think about it.
If a girl cry her heart out 2 you, and all because of you, its time to look back on wat u have done. Only you will know the answer to it.
Do consider it.
Coz one day, it may be too late for regrets.
It may be too late to say "I'm sorry".
3:01 PM
When a GIRL is quiet,
Millions of things are running in her mind.
When a GIRL is not arguing,
She is thinking deeply.
When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions,
She is wondering how long you will be
around.
When a GIRL answers "i'm fine" after a few seconds,
She is not at all fine.
When a GIRL stares at you,
She is wondering why you are lying.
When a GIRL lays on your chest,
She is wishing for you to be hers forever.
When a GIRL calls you everyday,
She is seeking for your attention.
When a GIRL wants to see you everyday,
She wants to be pampered.
When a GIRL sms's u everyday,
She wants you to reply at least once.
When a GIRL says I love you,
She means it.
When a GIRL says that she can't live without you,
She has made up her mind that you are her future.
When a GIRL says "i miss you",
No one in this world can miss you more than that
2:59 PM
GUYS LOOK HERE!!!
dun take girls for granted. u don't know what they haf done for u.
Love the girl in your heart, not in your mind. If you base your relationship on feelings, it will fail for there are ups & downs in feelings. Girls are there to be loved, not toyed around. Love her for who she is. Don't even think about changing any bit about her. 6 billion people in this world & 6 billion different personalities. She's special & she will stay that way. You change any part of her, you'll change her forever. Don't substitute her for anyone else, they are just unique in their own ways. Love whole-heartedly. She sacrificed a lot for you so you'd better really treasure her. She could have just got up & date a so much more dashing guy in town but she chose you instead all because of love. So love her guys, not play with her. Don't just get the girl to beg you to stay or whatsoever. If you're with her, love her. Don't cause a strain in the relationship, you'll end up loving each other out of pity or charity, that's not respecting love at all. Respect love the way it is & everything will be the best it can be. I've been there & I know how it feels. Don't expect perfection from her. She's the only one in the world & she's done the best she could. Like another girl while you're in a relationship? Then I think it's time you remain single for a while. Don't go around breaking girls' hearts, it's the most tragic thing to do.
Tell the truth, never hide anything from her. If you want her to tell you everything, do the same. Don't go calling other girls "honey" or "darling", how would it feel if your girl calls other guys the same way? Be faithful, enough is enough. Socialise only when you're single. You socialise & flirt around is to get the girl of your dreams. Get it over when she's already yours, don't ask for more. It never kills to be romantic. Think, be flexible. Getting that diamond ring isn't the only gift for her. Be realistic, she's human & she lives life just like you. Something sweet & simple always get the job done. Money doesn't exist between couples, it's the love. Never promise her that you'll love her forever because your forever might end the next day. Love her as if each day is the last. Sweet talking only applies for singles, not for attached guys. Do that & you'll really break your girl's heart.It isn't good being too well-known too, it'll give her a sense of insecurity. Remember, INSECURITY. Promise her & make sure you never break the promise. Swear to her & make sure you live up to your word. Pledge your love to her & her alone. Loving her is giving her your heart to break it but trusting her not to. Same goes for her, giving u her heart means allowing u to break it and trusting u not to. Instead, she'll cherish it & protect it. Should'nt you do the same thing as well? That's love. Give her your heart, your life, your everything. Lay down your life & prepare to die for her when the need arises. But stay strong & live through another day, she can never live without you. Never, ever walk out of her life. She won't just cry her heart out & carry on living as per normal, she'd die. Its her heart that you've broken, how would you ever know how she feels?
Winning a girl's heart isn't the final victory. Don't leave her once you've won her love. Love her all the way till the end of time, love her till marriage, love her till old age, love her till death. If you can love her till the end of time, you've earned the honor & respect for you've truly loved her. She chose you because she believes that you can fulfil your promise. Win her heart & love her over.
Remember, the girl isn't a trophy for display, she's someone to love, not to show off to your "friends".
1:53 PM
Saturday, October 01, 2005
I've lost the battle... lost my happiness... for no reason.. jus feelings..
tats sad.. y my life is so miserable..
will gd tins happen to mi? waiting for miracles..
I've got no confidence in myself.. i m willing to put in all my effor in every relationship i have. i dun wish to get back the same amount but at least u appreciate wat i did. i jus wana b more understanding & considerate towards u.. i dun wana force u to do anytin tat u dislike.. i love u so i trust u & respect ur decision.. watever it is, i'l have to bear all the pain cos i chose tis way. Ppl nag at mi bcos dey've seen mi suffer & got hurt & broke my heart, so dey wish i can find my real happiness.. & i've found mine but yet it left mi again.
i tin u r scare for some reason.. but jus to tel u, mi & him r nth.. we r jus frens & there's nth can happen betw us cos we r nt fated lor.. really nt suitable or compatible... dun worry.. no rivals now..
how m i able to heal my heart & stand up again?
11:18 PM
Wat sld i say? Alot of qns popping out.. Smth is occupying my mind now.
Dun understand y my life wil end up in tis state? Where goes wrong? How can i salvage it? I tot i m alr living happily, found my happiness le but y all these r jus my imagination? I duno wat exactly happened. Y suddenly everytin changed?But at least i sld noe wats the prob so tat i can do smth to it mah. M i those kind of gal tat guys can easily bully?
U r the one who give mi hope, let mi got the ability to start fr the beginning, forget abt the past. Cos u say u wun hurt mi, wil treasure mi, u love mi. Finally i accepted u cos i noe i've found my happiness. Is tis fate? Since i've lost u in the past, i wish to cherish u more & nt to lose u now. So i treasure u more den b4. To love u, i trust u & let u do wat u like thou i dislike but i giv in cos i dun wana lose u.
No matter wat happen, i wun giv up. I mus fight for my own happiness by all means.
Read smth wich is so true..
1. If you're afraid to love a person because of friendship, you have two choices:
either tell what you feel and let the love take place or hide the feeling under a friendship full of pretensions.
2. It's hard for two people to love each other when they live in two different worlds but when these two worlds collide and become one, that's what you call magic!
3. Love can never be so beautiful without friendship. One leads to another and the process is irreversible. The best of lovers is the greatest of friends!
4. I like you because you're my friend, and because you are my friend I care, and because I care, I love you. I don't love you because you are my friend, I love you because I do!
5. Sometimes I've asked myself, what would make me happy? To think that I have everything else, I get what I want. Then I realized it was YOU, too bad 'cause it's you can't have. I can't choose who I'm gonna love, but I also can't just love who chooses to love me.
6. And you can't blame me in choosing to love you as much as I can't blame you for not learning to love me. I'm sorry if you can't love me the way you loved the one before me, so I'll let you go find him/her and hope someday you'll see that the true love you're looking for was the one who set you free.
7. "How can I say goodbye to someone I never had? Why do tears fall for someone who was never mine? Why is that I miss someone I was never with and I ask why I love someone who's love was never mine?"
8. Isn't it funny we're trying to catch the attention of the one we think we love; we hardly notice the one we're really looking for was just there. You don't notice them till they are in the arms of someone else.
Food for thought, think of this:
9. Have you really cared for someone more than you expected?
10. Have you ever tried to love him/her despite of all the pain?
11. Will you keep on loving him/her as he/she whispers someone else's name? Will you?
12. It's better to lose your pride with someone you love rather than lose that someone you love with your useless pride. When you love someone, don't expect that person to love you back the same amount. One of you will be ahead, the other behind. It's either you catch up or the other waits.
13. When you love, you must not accept anything in return, for if you do, you're not loving but Investing.
14. If you love, you must prepare to accept pain, for if you expect happiness, you're not loving but using. True love hears what is not spoken,and understands what is not explained, for love doesn't work in the mouth, nor the mind, but in the heart...
15. Love is like standing on wet cement, the longer you stay the harder it is to leave and you can never go without leaving your prints behind. Don't love a person like a flower, because a flower dies in season.
16. Love them like a river because a river flows forever.
17. Love doesn't have to have a happy ending, 'cause love doesn't have to end at all.
18. Never be afraid to fall in love. It may hurt a lot,it may give you aches and pains, but if you don't follow your heart, in the end you will cry even more for not giving love a chance.
19. Love may leave your heart like shattered glass, but keep in mind that there's someone who'll be willing to endure the pain of picking up the pieces so you could be whole again.
20. The cruelest thing a guy could do to a girl is to let her fall in love when he doesn't intend to catch her fall! And fooling around with her feelings like they meant nothing!!
11:20 AM
Sat nite watched Full House until i really cant take it le & fell aslp at 3am.. woke up at 11am cos uncle din ask mi out for breakfast.. slept so long but the whole day was feeling super tired lor.. continue watching 2 disc den prepare myself to go out le.. went Ikea wif auntie, bro & meiyun.. total spend 100+ there.. bought hangers for skirts & pants de, clothes cover to cover my dresses, a quilt & its cover to replace my old blanket, a set of 6 boxes to rearrange my drawer, a pin board for all our earrings & necklaces.. den bro bought table mat, curtain rod & hangers too.. shopped for an hr den took train back.. bro take everytin back as i'm goin for dinner wif auntie.. so we went to Seng Kang to shop & wait for uncle to fetch us.. went G2000 bought a shirt & oso got the Everlasting Regrets vcd le.. wil watch it tis few days when i'm at hm..
the dinner was at Cheng San CC.. their official reopening.. was seated in the VIP zone.. inside the hall, air-conditioned.. 2 tables away fr our Prime Minister.. There are entertainments on the stage too.. Watched their lion & dragon dance troupe performing but stil i tin dey sucks lor.. JBCC is much much more beta.. dragon dance, jie ling gu.. & even the guys look beta lor.. lolx..
aft the dinner reached hm at 11+.. so late le. but anyway thou i'm tired but i stil din slp early..
so 2day was quite tiring.. there's a few tins ned to rush as its mth end le.. but managed to clear everytin aft lunchtime.. den i was so free until i duno wat to do.. den was told to act busy & make my desk abit messy else some ppl wil complain de.. kaoz.. nt tat i din do my work mah.. i finished everytin le leh.. i'm efficient.. lolx.. bu yao lian..
haiz.. sian.. tml no ned to work.. can go out late 2day but no programs leh.. even for the next few days, i'm very free lor.. no one date mi.. the only plan i hav is on fri.. wil b goin out wif e9 for ktv.. thou a few cant make it but i wun change the plan liao.. cos next wk mite b even worse to plan for an outing lor.. haiz.. or sld i plan & ask ppl to date mi to celebrate my bday for mi? sian lor..
nvm lata at hm watch finish Full House den continue my sammi movie.. tml if nth on den mayb pack my room lor.. but abit tired & lazy.. lolx.
8:00 PM
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Now i tin i've alot of words i wana say out but i duno how to express myself..
but 1 word for sure - SORRY.. to many gd frens out there.. i've made my probs their probs.. wich i sldn't hav do tis..
but now i noe, letting go is oso another form of happiness.. seeing him living happily, i'l oso feel happy.
& no matter wat, friendship is impt too.. so nth can affect it..
Tired of having wild tinkings.. sld stop here else how can i b happy?
Evening went to my cousin hse.. her baby gal named Megan.. Chinese is Zi Xuan.. So coincidence, same as Shermine lor.. lolx.
she looks adorable & had a pair of big round eyes..
& heard gd news again.. my cousin is expecting her 2nd child..
so next yr, wil c a total of 4 babies.. 3 of dem the birth dates r within 2 mths ba..
was finding frens to meet up aft my party.. but sian no one available lor.. so reached hm ard 8+pm.. den 10pm uncle called & ask mi out for supper.. had frog porridge at Hougang Ave 3 S-11.. famous fr Geylang Lor 9.
now busy watching the Korean show - Full House.. not bad.. wil watch til late den i'm real tired.. thou had 3 hrs of slp tis morning only..
tml afternoon goin Ikea wif bro & his gf & mayb my auntie.. taking the free shuttle bus fr SK.. cant go orchard wif Vivi to shop le.. :( next wk quite free but she's overseas.. haiz..
erm ok.. sld stop here.. wana concentrate watching my show le..
my mood now: i'm feeling ok..
12:22 AM
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Ytd on my way to work was trying to b hardworking.. reading my ISO notes cos 3pm is the test le..
Received a sms tat really brighten up my day.
As for the lunch appt, wif 4 Jap directors + 1 senior manager + a total of 8 gals from my dept (SCM) at Dragon Gate restaurant.. When we reached early, quickly occupied the seats inside leaving the seats outside for dem.. Its so stressed to have lunch wif dem le but stil dey suggest to change seats.. wana mixed guys in between lor.. & SHIT!! my col on my left was the 1st to exchange wif our BIG boss lor.. i was so shocked as i stil blur wats goin on lor.. ok lah he's gd looking.. but was so scared & paiseh lor.. but at least on my right is a gal.. UNFORTUNATELY she was asked to exchange her seat wif another director lor.. OMG!!! i'm the only gal sitting in between 2 guys lor.. can u imagine how stress it is? lost of words & din eat much lor but feels full. kaoz..
Went back office, less den 30 mins is the test le.. & my heart is stil beating fast lor..
The qns tat he asked my 'shifu' abit chim & i duno where to get the ans lor.. den when its abt my turn, he was reminded tat we r stil new.. so jus test us some simple qns.. for mi, my ans is nt fr the notes at al lor..
eg. wat is my job responsibilities? & where to find the quality policy in our intranet? lucky beforehand my shifu showed mi the fastest way to find it.. cos she was asked tis qns oso & went 1 big round to retreive it.. but there's a shortcut.. at least we all passed.. BUT the external audit is on the 7,8 Nov.. i wun b involve much too. but in future i tin i'l fail ba.. cos the test is ongoing de.. ISO 9000 & 14000..
aft work, meeting ying, hh & hp at orchard.. in the end i waited for ying at Harbourfront mrt & went down to meet hp as hh wil b late.. den went isetan to shop & had our dinner at NYDC@Wheellock.. asked deen to come den ying wil ask jian to come too.. but tis lazy jian din come lor.. anyway deen stil came thou he's the only guy..
photos taken.. c how fortunate deen is.. lolx :D
cant go clubbing or ktv cos it wil b quite late for dem.. dey mus go hm early.. but shops closing le.. cant shop liao.. how leh? in the end landed at Starbucks drink coffee & chatted.. den dey 4 shared a cab back & i went to take train alone.. reached hm aft 12am le.. came online wana edit the photos.. den vivi & eliaz wana go mustafa to buy cable.. din wana go de lor cos of some reasons.. but in the end i stil went.. cos she dun wan mi to stay at hm & is on their way to fetch mi le.. haiz.. giv her face lor.. & we actually stayed there shopping for hrs lor.. kaoz.. cant believe it.. reached hm ard 5.30am, fell aslp soon... almost 24 hrs din slp lor.. & i woke up at 8.30am, until now...
there's smth tat i sldn't say at al.. to the wrong person too..
gotta watched my words carefully.. so stupid of mi, i wun noe whether my words wil affect anyone cos i dun tin so far.. jus type wat's in my mind.. but for tis i'm very sure i wun blurt a word..
2day wil b staying at hm, evening goin Pasir Ris my cousin's hse for her baby girl's full mth bday.. aft tat wana stay hm? else where to go? dun tin anyone is free for mi lor. haiz..
aft blogging mayb can start watching the korean vcd - Full House wich my bro had jus burned out..
& meiyun bought another Korean serial show lor.. in fact i've alot of korean vcd to watch le.. but smtimes lazy but jus wana go out lor..
tml goin ikea to buy hangers.. lolx.. siao rite? go al the way there to buy.. haha :D
meiyun monday start her attachment at CAAS le so tml mus go else she'l b busy. but i oso wana go bugis leh.. wana c earrings..
ting promise she'l ask mi out next wk go shopping.. at least 1 day i got a date le.. but hope she wun 'put aeroplane' lor.. ying too.. haha ;p who else wana ask mi out? keke =x
current status: single & but dun wish to b available.. if i keep on sms-ing, either my gal frens or a guy.. & tat guy is Mr Llewell.. haha.. my listening ears... hear mi complain al the times.. so gd wif him but din meet him since my last bday.. lolx almost a yr le.. haha.. only wil call or sms lor.. everytime when i'm alone waiting for frens, i'l call him to keep mi company so i wun b so bored.. but everytime wil kena say lor.. cos everytime i'm waiting for ppl de.. but tis is mi lor.. i dun like to let ppl wait. i can b patient..
next outing wif e9 mite nt b able to c hp le.. cos she's having her exam fr 7th nov.. doreen? long time din c her le.. aft our last meeting on 9th Sep. oh.. tis is the day tat i'l rem clearly wat programs i had tat nite.. do u stil rem? no ba?
wah.. spending 1 hrs to write tis post.. so long ah? ok.. so long winded..
12:36 PM
Thursday, October 27, 2005
So fast thursday le.. Wkend coming soon.. but tinking next wk got 2 holiday, i feel sad. cos i got no date, gotta b alone at hm. :( so sian.. one sld b happy, lookin forward to holiday de mah..
mon & wed aft work went hm straight. went to c Shermine.. she's getting cuter & adorable each day.. & now she can stand by herself le.. she's only 7+ mth old.. took some photos of her..
Baby loves watching commercial.. especially food..
tue went to meet vivi & her fren (chanel & her mum) at wheellock & had our dinner at a Jap restaurant..
the atmosphere nt bad.. den went wisma & walk down to cp & meet him. went hm aft tat as i was quite tired le..
tis few days felt tired.. y leh? is it bcos i slp earlier den last mth? slp too much stil feel tired.
now oso quite tired BUT cant slp yet.. mus study my ISO.. cos tml wil b having the test at 3pm. hav to ans 4 qns.. & oso got a lunch appt wif my big bosses.. stress sia..
now eating grapes.. duno y mama bought de looks so dark & its BIG lor..
tml wil b meeting ying, hh & hp go orchard shopping.. yeah!! but aft shopping where to go? dey mus go back early de lor.. den how? sian..
sat oso cant hav any plan.. cos mus go my cousin hse in the evening.. her baby full mth..
den next sat my ah-ma bday.. den the wk aft next wil c wich gd soul wana ask mi out le.. haha..
7:42 PM
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Haiz.. as expected..
Whole day staying at hm lor.. staring at the pc, dl songs, burn cd, upload to my ext hdd & had my nap the whole afternoon.. thou i'm really tired, but i'm nt in deep slp.. duno y but jus keep waking up & look at my hp. hoping for someone's msg.. stupid gal rite? haha..
tml hav to go SGH to do blood test.. sian hav to take time off..
haven study my ISO yet.. so lazy & tired..
was tokin online wif jh.. planning when to go ktv again.. but cant cfm a date yet.. so hav to ask the most busiest ppl for their free day den can plan.. for mi, i anyday anytime oso can de.. cos i super free..
ytd we was tokin to my auntie.. my cousin was planning to get married next yr 06/06/06.. but for mi, i wan mine to b on 08/08/08.. nt to follow the trend but tat was my plan few yrs back.. e9 frens all noe abt tis.. lolx.. den bro said he'l get married on 09/09/09 lor.. & he's alr tinkin of getting married early & let ah-ma c her 1st great-grandchild.. but tis is stil too early to say as he stil haven serve his ns yet..
Oh yah.. ytd oso saw my uncle & auntie's photos.. dey went to HK Disneyland.. stayed 2 nites there.. its was so fun & the photos taken, hotel & the designs r all so nice.. i wish i can go for a tour there too.. who wana go wif mi? other den goin to BKK for shopping or KL/Genting, my dream holiday getaway wil b Disneyland.. so mus save $ le.. to fulfil my dream myself..
so will my dreams come true?
was tinking sld i put pwd to my blog? cos smth is bothering mi & i wun noe wat i sld or sldn't blog abt.. if i did post it, i din noe tat i'm actually hurting someone.. but tats nt wat i wan lor.. if i put pwd, den only selected ppl wil noe & i dun hav to worry so much rite? so sld or sld not put pwd prompt? but prob is who r my frequent viewers? haiz.. tin ppl who read oso wil get fed up.. cos of my poor english.. lolx.. but tats mi.. jus type out wats in my mind at tat pt of time.. din hav to phrase it well..
8:29 PM
Hmm.. Wat i did on thur? Oh yah.. Aft work came hm & waited for bro to drive mi to Sheng Siong to shop for my biscuits.. Bought alot to replenish the stock for my office.. hehe ;p Get to noe tat QF is sick for a few days le & din went to work. duno y jus worried for him & wana visit him lor..
On fri, at work was so relax.. nth to do.. & half of my dept seniors r on leave or half-day.. jus wait for time to pass only.. but too free oso no gd.. cos i doze off lor.. my plan aft work was to go lavender b4 meeting my frens at orchard as dey 7+ den can reach.. but asked le he's goin out so din go le lor.. so aft work went alone to PS to shop den slowly walk down to wisma..
Eh.. mi & him really got nth le but duno y i jus wana visit him when he's sick lor. jus concern for him..
Met stacey & ting at wisma & had our dinner there. den walked down to cine to meet deen..
Watched Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo at 10.05pm den aft the movie, was deciding where to go next.. a place to chill out or clubbing.. anyway mi & ting is anytin de lah.. so it was our 1st time visiting a club.. haha :D
So off we went to Momo.. was tinkin who wil i c there, any familiar faces, wil he b clubbing tat nite too?
Did saw my cousin & 4 Epson colleagues.. so coincidence lor..
Now i tin goin to a club is ok for mi.. but abit stupid to go if u dun dance or drink rite? haha..
In the past i tin a club is so smelly cos of the smokes.. but aft goin there, it was quite alrite for mi since i've gradually accept my bf to smoke.. dun really like lah but i cant force dem to quit cos its hard so jus let dem b & do watever dey r happy wif lor.
@ Momo, i prefer staying at the live band room.. walking pass the dance floor only i felt giddy by the lights lor.. cant stand there at all.. so tat area is nt for mi..
Asked the 3 guys to enjoy demself den we gals wil entertain ourselves.. no worries.. but awhile lata, 2 guys approach us..
dey had a fren who was drunk & had been lying there for quite some time le, & these 2 guys request us to help dem wake his fren up as he has to leave for america, but duno y ask mi to take photo wif his fren.. weird rite?
but i rejected no matter wat dey say lor.. its nt tat i'm nt helpful but i'm protecting myself.. cos u wun noe wat dey'l do wif ur photo rite? den stacey offered to help dem take a photo of dem & his fren lor.. hehe.. den we quickly leave tat place..
so suay, tat nite got police raid.. heard fr deen there's a fight at the dancefloor earlier on, 20 mins lata the police came..
haha but mi & ting did enjoyed ourselves tat nite.. told ying ytd.. & she oso wana go lor.. so told deen to find 1 fri nite & get more ppl den we go 2gether lor.. cant everytime go ktv oso mah.. but b4 my bday, we wil go to tis 2 places k..
Sat slp at 5am & woke up at 9am.. went to cousin hse for mahjong session.. luck wasn't gd so play 2 rounds & stopped.. not enuf kakis oso lah.. had buffet & tok lor.. Her hse was at tiong bahru, jus opp the Hawker lor.. & quite near to go harbourfront fr there lor.. so in future can put some clothings & my stuff there.. booked a room fr her.. lolx.. but now no bed yet lor, stil ask mi go stay.. kaoz..
den saw my uncle taking the new N70, the fone tat i'm wishing for.. the camera very clear lor.. gd gd.. eh.. he noe i wan tat fone, so hope he'l change wif mi aft he had fun using it le.. hehe ;p if nth happen, i'l b taking my dream fone soon.. lolx ;D
2day no plan yet.. but he's off 2day.. wat m i hoping?
daydreaming only lor..
2nite mus flip my ISO notes le.. tis wk is the internal audit, den on the 8, 9 Nov is external audit..
so sian..
was tinking of buying the materials & do cross-sitch for myself.. but prob is i duno how to do leh.. die..
wana sew my name on it & frame up den i can put at my desk liao mah..
or is there any kind soul wana do it for mi? keke ;p
Pics taken at Wisma, Cineleisure & Momo..
Outing & Clubbing wif Ting, Stacey & Deen + Brian & his fren.
11:16 AM
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Last nite i had a heart attack by some words.. I din expect tis to happen cos it can nv come true de lor..
I'm sorry to U.. I dun wana hurt myself & i choose to b stupid for the rest of my life.. i wun giv anyone chance.. cos i dun trust guys. I wun go into any relationship if i dun love u. w/o love, there is no gd ending.
was chatting wif my col tis afternoon.. a mother of 2 & had a nice & caring husband. a happy family.. tats wat i wan too. envy her so much. den tok abt mi, she tot i was lying to her tat i'm single now.. cos she noe i had him.. she oso cant believe tat he's the 1 tat choose tis ending.. cos to her, usually it wil b the gal who initiate the breakup 1. but now tins r nt the same le.. haiz.. den she's tinkin in office is there any guys stil single.. lolx.. but too bad, most r married & a few younger ones got steady le..
since u noe tat guy's existence le, wil u get jealous? out of curiousity or cos u care abt mi den u ask so many qns? dun really wana let u noe de but since u noe le den i hav to clarify lor.. i mind wat u tin & feel.. if u free u can find mi or accompany mi. i wish for tat day to come lor.. but wil u? no other ppl wil pei mi..
but anyway i wun accept any guys now, cos in my heart there's stil u. thou kept in the deepest place, the feeling is stil there.
who is tat her? i duno.. but i wish to noe. who can tel mi? noe le wil only hurt more but now i felt sad lor.. duno sld i msg u, wat to tok? haiz..
enuf of al these...
tis morning b4 waking up got muscle cramp.. so painful, tried to relax & massage but no use.. cant even stand straight lor. 2day got appt at SGH, went there but its a waste of my time lor.. c tat doctor, jus say i need to do a detailed blood test & if suspect kidney prob aft al tests dey wil ned to extract a tissue of my kidney... y like tat? problematic.. tok to mi for 30 mins den i mus go take new appt date.. haiz.. sian mus take blood again.. so scared.. how's their skill? if like my raffles medical doc den i dun mind lah.. cos she's so skillful tat i'm nt scare & dun feel the pain. got 1 day mc, was tinkin if i sld go back to work anot cos my leg is so painful.. but stil i went back le.. cos i dun wana get unpaid leave.. luckily i went back.. there's lots of work waiting for mi.. thanx to my col, she did some for mi le.. work til 7pm 2day to finish everytin.. so tired.
felt abit cold, muscle stil pain, heart pain, headache, tired.. wah so much prob.
8:37 PM
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
"Two tear drops were floating down the river. One teardrop said to the other,
"I'm the teardrop of a girl who loved a man and lost him. Who are you?"...
"I'm the teardrop of the man who regrets letting a girl go..."
Nobody will sympathize a person who constantly let chances pass by without making any efforts to salvage them. We normally don't realize how important our loved and closed ones are until they leave us, and then we start to regret. And that result in MISERY.
7:30 PM
Monday, October 17, 2005
Went to my cousin wedding ytd.. can consider as a budget wedding lor..
it was held at Expo Foyer 2 Bliss Garden Restaurant.. but its in a Ballroom lah..
bad sound system.. gowns & makeup nt nice lor..
wah.. got so many comments.. guess i mus really start saving up $ now if i wan mine to b perfect.
my target: 3 yrs lata to settle down.. but wil tis day come? until now stil no one wans mi lor.. : (
wana b a pretty bride, cos its once a lifetime only.. i wan everytin to b planned nicely.
noe wat my uncle said.. now ppl wil test-drive 1st b4 gettin married, to cfm the gal can giv birth.
haha..
Some gd news.. Next yr i'l hav 3 doggy babies - 1 cousin, 2 niece/nephew.. So happy.. but i look forward for piggy leh..
Can relax now.. cos my ISO test postpone to next wk.. can slack le.. but my col say nt jus memorise fr the notes lor.. some qns oso came fr the daily work/procedures tat i'm doing. Heng ah.. cos manager on urgent leave den tat ISO guy suddenly so kind, allow us to postpone..
Ke lian de Vivi.. Fall sick le.. mus take gd care of urself k..
Time passes really fast..
mth end i was doin some updating work, next wk i ned to do the updating again le.. its been a mth lah but it seems like last wk jus did it lor..
so it means i'm getting older soon. : (
Vivi, jus enjoy ur holiday wif Eliaz.. dun worry abt mi.. my frens wil celebrate for mi de.. if dey dun den i find ppl to help mi celebrate lor.. if really so cham, den i'l cel alone lor. I jus wish 'someone' to cel it for mi.. ; )
I wana watch movie.. can ask mi out?
Waiting for Andy Lau's All About Love.. 27th Oct..
Waiting for Everlasting Regrets' vcd to b out.. cos i haven watch the movie yet..
Wana watch some of the films wich r showing now..
but all i'm waiting now is ur call.. :D
Haiz.. Duno y felt headache.. now at hm, smtimes feel cold but my body is hot..
Ying is back fr China.. Yeah!! waitin for her to ask mi out when she's free.. :)
Tis wk basically i'm free everyday except Sat cos goin to my cousin for hse-warming.
I felt i'm so troublesome.. irritating.. giv ppl so much prob.. never ending probs.. 1 aft another.. back to sq 1 again..
Hate being alone.. Hate tis life i'm having now.. Wan 'someone' to take care of mi..
7:45 PM
Saturday, October 15, 2005
No mood to study leh.. very lazy ah.. tin tml den mus really start le.. but duno wat qns tat guy wil ask leh.. by tue mus understand abit. anyway its open book test lah.. mus noe where to find the ans lor..
Wah.. 2day ah-ma's 80 yrs old bday ah.. din noe lor.. tot 70+ only.. haha..
1 mth lata wil b my bday le.. how to celebrate leh? who wil cel wif mi? 16th is a wed leh.. tat day mus work. cant countdown or wat le.. :(
Strictly dun drink.. pls dun force mi k.. ;p thanx.
Cute hor.. did carried her but din take photo.. wasted.. :(
4:07 PM
I'm so tired now.. cos i jus slp for 2 hrs last nite..
Ytd met Ting, Stacey & Brian aft work at MS for dinner den KTV lor.. By rite sang til 12.30 only de but dragged to 3am lor.. how tired can we b? all hav to wake up early 2day lor.. but nvm cos i'm nt the only blurred 1.. so reluctant to wake up, blur blur de, can find the button to stop my alarm too. but whole day at work i look find. din doze off. jus yawn for smtimes & eyes like wana close le.. but i dun feel tat tired aft all.. so 2day aft work stil went orchard meet Meifen & Jiahao.. Went to the new food court at Wisma for dinner den tinkin wan watch movie or shop or ktv.. so walked down to Cine but 9+ show was either selling fast or sold out. & we din wana watch midnite. so tis plan was cancelled. den went to check price for ktv @ kbox & partyworld lor.. in the end ended up at Cuppage Partyworld.. but lucky 2day sing til 12am only.. & Mf bb sent mi hm.. so nice ;p
abit siao hor.. a person who dun like to sing ktv de duno y can go ktv for 2 consecutive days lor.. duno where i got the guts to sing in front of dem.. mayb dey saw my ugliest look le ba.. but tis applies to my poly buddies only.. hehe ;p
Played for 2 days le, enjoyed myself.. so happy too.. but the next 2 days cant go out le.. tml ah-ma's bday celebrate at hm den sun my cousin wedding held at Expo mo-mo restaurant.. but while at hm, i hav smth very important to do.. ISO 14000 & 9000.. OMG!! have to memorise & understand everytin lor.. cos tue got internal audit le.. tat guy expect us to noe everytin & ans his qns well.. printed the notes & brought hm to study lor.. sian.. 1 yr din study, memorise or take test le.. duno my brain rusty le mah.. lolx :D
got a few movies tat i wish to watch.. waiting for SOMEONE to ask mi out lor.. wil he? or wil tis day come?
Ok tired now le.. wana go Zzz le..
12:53 AM
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
I'm single and ready to mingle
I like someone
There is someone I really like, and is hoping he will ask me out
I'm single but i hate it with a passion
I'm heartbroken
I want someone I can never have...
Went SGH 2day for my appt.. Seems like i'm the youngest patient in the clinic.
Had ultrascan only.. & made a few more appt date lor.. wif another specialist (19 Oct), for xray (18 Nov), for blood & urine test (any date) den back to c the same specialist (25 Nov) again.. so decided to go back to work aft settled everytin..
still under probation & was only given 3 sick leave.. had taken 1 alr so left 2 more days.. aft counting, each appt i can take half day sick leave lor..
so now stil duno wats went wrong.. & hope i'l b fine. heard my col saying last time she oso had the same prob but aft goin thru so much tests, dey discharge her cos couldn't find wats the prob. hope i'm like her.. hehe ;p
Like Yang Chen Ling, Liang Jing Ru new album.. nice nice..
Heard tat my bro & her gf bought alot of tins back fr BKK.. last nite din go kpo wat dey bought.. dey got mi a t-shirt too.. & this
nice rite? handicraft.. but its too big to put at my desk le.. so have to keep it at hm. so gotta search for 1 to put in office.. hehe ;p
oh tml is sis's bday le.. din get her anytin.. anyway she's nt coming hm tis few days.. so nvm lah.. keke ;p
very soon mine wil b coming.. was tinkin how sld i spend my day? sad to say, i've to work lah.. who wil celebrate wif mi? i noe e9 buddies sure wun forget mi de.. but other ppl leh? esp tat someone.. oopz.. y m i daydreaming now.. kokz. tot wun b alone tis yr... haiz..
7:18 PM
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Mama no gd.. so biased.. dote on bro so much..
No matter wat he did, al r rite.. wun get scolding, gets wat he wans..
Unlike mi & sis, gets warning.. nag at mi.. haiz.. so 'fan'..
So aware of wat time he's getting hm lata.. but mi leh.. tml goin for my appt @ SGH, she dun rem lor.. & i oso dun bother to ans her..
Haiz.. wat can i say.. cos he's a guy lor.. wun get cheat de so no worries..
Even if every relationship i go into, she'l sure say the same old words.. heard enuf le so i wun listen anymore.. i go wif my feeling.. choose whoever tat i tin he's the man for mi. even if suay suay smth bad happen, i can only blame myself & suffer everytin..
Saying mi i noe is for my gd lah.. cos mayb she saw mi heartbroken le & dun wan mi to suffer.. hope i can live happily..
Jus saw lights shining outside so went to the windoes & c.. oh Yew Keng.. very grand lor but too bad i missed the flower lorries.. den sms qf.. told mi he noe cos he's there.. kns.. din tel mi.. passed by hougang lor..
9:51 PM
Being a single there r pros & cons.. but to mi.. i dun like to b single.. i love to b wif the 1 i loved. spending all my time wif him happily is the greatest moment in life & i treasure dem. thou there wil b restrictions to wat u do but i dun mind. anyway i dun flirt wif other guys so i dun ned to b single.. & oso bcos i dun wish anyone to get hurt so jus b a gd gf can le..
but now i doubt so le.. i'm single again & i've to get used to tis life.. wat can i do now? finding frens out? but where to go? dey go clubbing wich i dun.. so sld i start learning how to drink or like tat kind of noisy place? but how many frens can i find? all hav their own life, who wil wana b wif mi? i noe frens r always out there to giv mi watever support i ned. i really thanx dem & their advice. but its my mind & heart controlling mi.. being too emotional & puts so much effort in each relationship le tats y i'm the 1 tat hurt most. in fact i had quite a few experience le but i jus nv learn a lesson. serve mi rite..
No matter wat i tin i mus like the life of being single & i tin i'l remain in tis stage for long. cos i dun wish to trust any guys le. had enuf of all tis.. heaven is making fun of mi?
fr now on, i'l try to forget u.. but u'l stil b in my heart, in the deepest place. cos if i can forget u, i'l hav do it much earlier le. dun worry, i'l find a way & make myself happy.
i dun blame u cos one sided love wun work de.. but i'm glad its u tat helped mi forget abt him. thanx & sorry..
wil change topic of my post le..
so tired now.. lie in bed & wil fall aslp le.. but i stil dun wish to slp.
I guess I CAN DO IT.. 2day too busy wif work le.. so din tin of u all the time.. if everyday like tat den wil b gd for mi.. been telling myself nt to tin, cnt tin..
Wah!! tml no ned to work.. wil b taking mc cos goin SGH.. duno how long wil it take.. but aft tat wil go hm rest..
Tis yr Epson d&d wil b held at Hyatt on 9 Dec.. Stil able to cope wif my work. but the workload is increasing.. more responsibilities..
Now got a few movies tat i wana watch.. but wil u ask mi out for movie?
Jus read 2006 chinese horoscope.. my col sent mi de.. who wan, i can email u.. but pig next yr like nt very gd leh..
Haiz.. My fren said i'm naive.. Mayb tats y i'm easily cheaT & fall into ur hands.. r those i met bad guys? den where r the gd ones? r dey trustworthy?
6:43 AM
Monday, October 10, 2005
At tat time, I was touched by ur gentleness and softness... U helped mi to forget abt my past relationship those unhappiness & heartache.. Thanks for being so nice to mi.
I stil cant tin of a gd reason y tis would happen.
Yes, i wish u happiness wif a smile but who noes how painful my heart is now..
I told u i try to b fren wif u but is tis possible? No one can replace u. & no one is there to pull mi out fr the dark now jus like wat u did tat time..
My happiness, u took it all away.. Now i'm searching for my new happiness..
Sorry for everything.. Sorry that i din spare a tot for ppl. I wun blame anyone.. cos everytin is fated..
9:44 PM
Sunday, October 09, 2005
Managed to find my fren for movie tis evening.. chose a 5.30 show so tat when it ended, stil got time for mi to had dinner wif dem & i had some plan in mind. but when i msg him, my plan failed, heart fell off the cliff.. Tinkin of meetin him & go hm together, but he told mi he mite b meetin his frens out. I even asked if he can bring mi along? haha.. when was abt to dismiss, i called him to cfm but thou he haven cfm wif his frens yet, i stil hav to go back alone. Mi & my frens walked down dhoby ghaut, abt 9 walked pass CP, was keeping a look.. haha.. stupid rite? & my speed was very slow lor.. cos i'm hoping to c u.
wat can i do now? hav to forget abt tis short period lor..
10:06 PM
11:59 AM
Wat m i lookin for now?
Someone tat love mi like i love him (dun hav to b the same amt),
someone tat i'l b happy to b wif,
someone who appreciate wat i did for him..
I'm willing to put in all my effort, to do watever tins within my ability for him..
Even if tins tat i dislike, if no choice, i stil wil giv in de lor.
& tats mi.. stupid of mi.. falling so much le stil nv learnt my lesson.. duno y guys wil like to fool on mi..
Full of promises & sweet words, but all r lies..
Ok gals wld like to hear tat but dey mus come fr a heart tat is true to dem wat..
I noe its their loss to lose someone who love dem.. but for wat use leh? cos the 1 getting hurt is mi only.
I got no confidence & duno wat can i do le.. taken the initiative but hear tat kind of response, wat wld i tin? SORRY, ITS THE END. no 2nd chance. m i rite? sld giv up alr..
Was toking my feelings to my fren.. a guy, my listener..
den i found out tat my feelings to u & to my ex(s) r different lor..
aft breaking up wif any of dem, we'l stil b in contact but jus normal frens lor.. wun hav any uncomfortable feeling. but u r special.. aft so long, when i meet u again, i'l feel nervous (i tin, dun really noe how to describe tat feeling), dun dare to tok much to u oso.. who noes until now, the feeling to u is stil there.. tats y now when i c u, i duno how to face u, duno wat to tok.. nt tat i like to remain silent lor.. i'm happy to c u, at least i'm wif u but yet the feeling is so weird.
haiz.. wat exactly m i tinkin? wat i really wan? sld i giv up? rather den regret at the end, y dun treasure wat u hav now?
u r too gd to everyone le.. i'l get jealous lor thou i din say out.
i noe to u, everytin i've to say out else u wun noe.. even if i say out le got wat use? wil u stil care wat i tin?
i can feel tat u stil concern abt mi.
12:23 AM
Saturday, October 08, 2005
12:00 PM
Friday, October 07, 2005
Was very tired now but nvm, cos i felt happy. Ytd aft work went suntec meet Vivi & Eliaz. Went to shop for awhile b4 heading to CP to find him. Wished to c him so much, but when i'm standing in front of him, i dun dare to look at him & duno wat to say to him so i kept silent. My mind is confusing now.. I noe tat i wan u, wana b wif u. but i'm wondering wat's in ur mind, how's ur feeling now? i cant tin of any gd reason for u to leave mi. is it tat i did smth wrong? or the feeling tat u hav when u r wif mi is diff fr the 1 tat u had wif ur ex? Thou i duno dem, but i felt i'm nt up to standard to compare wif dem. dey r too gd le, cos ur feeling for dem can last so long. felt so low now. How den can i b wif u again? Ned mi to take initiative? but wil u giv mi the chance? I duno wat i sld do now.. but my mind is filled wif u every sec. Can u make my life happier? Duno y my life is so miserable.. put in all my effort to love someone but in the end will get hurt deeply. Tel mi wat i sld do, & i'l do it within my ability, for my loved one, i'm willing to do. I din change myself bcos of anyone. but i noe i'm stupid, idiot. tats wat u've say mi.
ARGH!!!!!! so stressed & confused now..
6:40 AM
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Now, 2day i guess my mood will b gd.. still nt very gd but beta den last few days.. cos 2nite i get to meet vivi & him.
Last nite had a nice slp too.. cos b4 slpin, he did called mi, thou vivi asked him to cal de. Den chatted in msn too. but jus slp for 6 hrs i tin i'm happy too.
i'm so glad tat u stil concern abt mi. but jus concern to a fren? but i dun wana b jus a fren.
Last nite my fren asked mi how m i, cos fr my msn nick he tins tat i'm desperate, no gd. but i'm jus missing him, nt desperate cos i wana find my happiness.
But out of no reason, duno y he told mi he got alot of gals wana b wif him but he reject.. oh is it true? but y tel mi? haha.. nt my prob wat..
but i tin its beta tat guys dun treat mi so gd, dun like mi. cos i've had enuf of sadness.. alr noe how painful it can b aft been thru twice. did told myself to find smone tat love mi more den i love him.. but tis doesn't work.. beginning, yes the guy love mi more but as time goes by, i went deeper into the well lor.. & now tats where i m.. cant get out of it again.
6:39 AM
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
You'll never know
how much your smile lights up the room or
your laughter fills my soul,
making all the little problems of the day disappear.
You'll never know
how much it means to me when you do or
say something thoughtful and totally unexpected
�X usually just at the moment I need it most.
You'll never know
how much pride I hold in my heart for
the person you are and the things you do
�X for your strength and your gentleness,
your courage and your determination,
your accomplishments and your dreams.
You'll never know
how much I need you by my side
�X in the best of times and the worst of times
and all the times in between.
It really doesn't matter where we are or
what we're doing, as long as we're together to share it all.
I love you with all my heart and soul.
You'll never know how much.
7:57 PM
I'm in office now.. Nth to do leh.. Wana slp le.. Did doze off again lor.. heng nt caught.
My shi-fu on urgent leave 2day. i'm alone & nt much work cos i finished all le.
Now waiting for time to pass lor.
Wondering who wana watch Everlasting Regrets, can accompany mi go? cos i've asked him but i dun tin he'l like tat show & smmore he's busy so mayb forget it lor.
Misplaced my bankbook :( jus now went DBS to replace it. Have to pay $15. sian.. duno where i put it le. dun let me c it again.. haha.. updated it & found tat i'm poorer le.. QF did return mi on time. but jus tat i spent the $ on medical le so i left so little in my bank now lor.
Saw him on msn, did msg him but i din wait for his reply & i sign out le. cos either i'm goin bed le or goin to work. but jus now msg him askin him abt his physical test for ns, failed pull-ups = everytin failed. so have to retake again. sian.. really waste of time lor. but running he can pass.. gd lor. Really miss him alot.. really no chance le mah?
Tml u off rite? wil u find mi? or wan mi to find u? duno when vivi wil ask mi out. u wana come along? is it wierd? erm.. i duno.
Sad & bored now lor.. time quick pass.. i wan go hm find shermine le. ned her help to destress.
3:28 PM
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Thanks Hh for accompany mi 2day.. meeting her at 6.45pm but i reach city hall at 6pm le so went Raffles City shop alone.. Had our dinner at MS Sakae den shop awhile.. bought a formal shoe at 1/2 price.. aft tat went hm le.. Was tired now..
Tis fri bro was goin to BKK le.. til next tue.. Ying goin China tis sat til next fri. Frens all busy.. So i'm all alone again. Where can i go if i dun wana stay at hm? who can i find?
So gd of hh.. told her i next wed goin SGH den she c i goin alone, she say she'l try to get mc & accompany mi go. thanx gal.. muack muack.. keke ;p
I wana watch Sammi's movie 'Everlasting Regrets'.. anyone interested to go wif mi? or i hav to go watch alone?
Take NEL alight at Dhoby Ghaut is gd.. cos get to c Sammi poster.. haha :D
Miss you badly : (
9:39 PM
Monday, October 03, 2005
2day mood nt very gd. mayb last nite din slp well oso ba..
tis morning woke up got headache, felt so tired.. in office, doing some work until i almost doze off.. eyes can hardly open.. & the pain stil there..
wats wrong wif mi? even did smth wrong, but luckily minor stuff.. faxed to the wrong person.. oopz =p
2day bro went TTSH for appt wif the specialist.. so gd, his gf accompany him there.. den i was tinkin next wed my turn to go SGH for appt.. who wil accompany mi go? Guess i'm alone like now lor..
fr now on quite free again le.. tml meetin hh go city hall to shop, den go eat sakae @ MS.. ying & mf mite b joining us. den still waiting for Vivi's reply c wich day she wana meet mi. other den tis 2 date, i'm all alone le..
Ytd whole day stayed at hm.. so bored. even my col oso wonder y i so gd can stay at hm whole day.. its bo bian, nt i wan de.. but anyway ytd spent my day wif Enen & oso helping my cousin wif her art. Create css for my friendster & edit my blog posts.
Tok to mf last nite.. fr my blog she noe smth wrong den tok to mi lor.. told her wat weaknesses i have, but she encourage mi say i can turn my weaknesses into strengths.. Anyway i jus got no confidence in myself lor. i'm pessimistic. so even u told mi in the future mite b together again or wat, i jus cant tin in tat way lor.. cos i duno y u wld choose to leave mi now & come back to mi aft tat.. so cruel of u.. but i got no rights to blame u. but now jus let u have ur own personal space. cos i duno wat exactly u wan now. din noe the main reason & oso dun wish to noe cos afraid of getting hurt deeper.
7:33 PM
Sunday, October 02, 2005
Don't be too good I will miss you.
Don't be too caring, I might like you.
Don't be too Sweet, I might fall for you.
It's hard for me to love you when you won't love me after all...
Bottom-line :
A person who makes me love him is actually a person who loves me more than I love him.
________________x________________________x_____________
If someone comes into your life and becomes a part of you but for some reasons he couldn't stay, don't cry too much...
Just be glad that your paths crossed and; somehow he made you happy even for a while.
Bottom-line :
Time will tell. If he's yours he will surely come back. ________________x________________________x__________
Don't throw your back to love when it's already in front of you.
Don't drive it away from you because if you do, someday you'll think again why you let love fly away when it was once residing next to you.
Bottom-line :
Treasure the one who loves you! It's not easy to find a person who loves you. It's always more valuable to have a sincere heart.
________________x________________________x_____________
The greatest regrets in our lives are the risks we did not take.
If you think something will make you. happy, GO FOR IT.
Remember that we pass this way only once.
Bottom-line :
Time doesn't wait.
If you think you might have found the right one, treasure the person, don't let that person get away.
Don't let fear hold You back. Give it a try else you might regret later...
"No one other than ourselves know what can truly make us happy." ________________x________________________x_____________
Two tear drops were floating down the river.
One teardrop said to the other,
"I'm the teardrop of a girl who loved a man and lost him. Who are you?" ...
"I'm the teardrop of the man who regrets letting a girl go..."
Bottom-line :
Nobody will sympathize with a person who constantly lets chances pass by without making any efforts to salvage them.
We normally don't realize how important our loved and close ones are until they leave us, and then we start regretting, which results in misery.
Lost time is NEVER gained again.
10:03 PM
If a girl cries in front of you, it means that she couldn't take it anymore.
If you take her hand, she would stay with you for the rest of your life.
If you let her go, she couldn't go back to being herself anymore.
A girl won't cry easily,
Except in front of the person who she love the most, she becomes weak.
A girl won't cry easily,
only when she love you the most, she put down her ego.
Guys,
If a girl cries bcoz of you, please hold her hands firmly, she's the one who would stay with you for the rest of your life.
Guys,
If a girl cries bcoz of you, please don't give her up, maybe bcoz of your decision, you ruin her life.
When she cry rite infront of you, when she cry bcoz of you,
Look into her eyes,
Can u see n feel the pain n hurt she's feeling?
Think.
Which other girl have cried wif pure sincerity, infront of you, and bcoz of you?
She cry not because she is weak.
She cry not bcoz she wan sympathy or pity.
She cry, because crying silently is no longer possible.
The pain, hurt n agony have become too big a burden to be kept inside.
Guys,
Think about it.
If a girl cry her heart out 2 you, and all because of you, its time to look back on wat u have done. Only you will know the answer to it.
Do consider it.
Coz one day, it may be too late for regrets.
It may be too late to say "I'm sorry".
3:01 PM
When a GIRL is quiet,
Millions of things are running in her mind.
When a GIRL is not arguing,
She is thinking deeply.
When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions,
She is wondering how long you will be
around.
When a GIRL answers "i'm fine" after a few seconds,
She is not at all fine.
When a GIRL stares at you,
She is wondering why you are lying.
When a GIRL lays on your chest,
She is wishing for you to be hers forever.
When a GIRL calls you everyday,
She is seeking for your attention.
When a GIRL wants to see you everyday,
She wants to be pampered.
When a GIRL sms's u everyday,
She wants you to reply at least once.
When a GIRL says I love you,
She means it.
When a GIRL says that she can't live without you,
She has made up her mind that you are her future.
When a GIRL says "i miss you",
No one in this world can miss you more than that
2:59 PM
GUYS LOOK HERE!!!
dun take girls for granted. u don't know what they haf done for u.
Love the girl in your heart, not in your mind. If you base your relationship on feelings, it will fail for there are ups & downs in feelings. Girls are there to be loved, not toyed around. Love her for who she is. Don't even think about changing any bit about her. 6 billion people in this world & 6 billion different personalities. She's special & she will stay that way. You change any part of her, you'll change her forever. Don't substitute her for anyone else, they are just unique in their own ways. Love whole-heartedly. She sacrificed a lot for you so you'd better really treasure her. She could have just got up & date a so much more dashing guy in town but she chose you instead all because of love. So love her guys, not play with her. Don't just get the girl to beg you to stay or whatsoever. If you're with her, love her. Don't cause a strain in the relationship, you'll end up loving each other out of pity or charity, that's not respecting love at all. Respect love the way it is & everything will be the best it can be. I've been there & I know how it feels. Don't expect perfection from her. She's the only one in the world & she's done the best she could. Like another girl while you're in a relationship? Then I think it's time you remain single for a while. Don't go around breaking girls' hearts, it's the most tragic thing to do.
Tell the truth, never hide anything from her. If you want her to tell you everything, do the same. Don't go calling other girls "honey" or "darling", how would it feel if your girl calls other guys the same way? Be faithful, enough is enough. Socialise only when you're single. You socialise & flirt around is to get the girl of your dreams. Get it over when she's already yours, don't ask for more. It never kills to be romantic. Think, be flexible. Getting that diamond ring isn't the only gift for her. Be realistic, she's human & she lives life just like you. Something sweet & simple always get the job done. Money doesn't exist between couples, it's the love. Never promise her that you'll love her forever because your forever might end the next day. Love her as if each day is the last. Sweet talking only applies for singles, not for attached guys. Do that & you'll really break your girl's heart.It isn't good being too well-known too, it'll give her a sense of insecurity. Remember, INSECURITY. Promise her & make sure you never break the promise. Swear to her & make sure you live up to your word. Pledge your love to her & her alone. Loving her is giving her your heart to break it but trusting her not to. Same goes for her, giving u her heart means allowing u to break it and trusting u not to. Instead, she'll cherish it & protect it. Should'nt you do the same thing as well? That's love. Give her your heart, your life, your everything. Lay down your life & prepare to die for her when the need arises. But stay strong & live through another day, she can never live without you. Never, ever walk out of her life. She won't just cry her heart out & carry on living as per normal, she'd die. Its her heart that you've broken, how would you ever know how she feels?
Winning a girl's heart isn't the final victory. Don't leave her once you've won her love. Love her all the way till the end of time, love her till marriage, love her till old age, love her till death. If you can love her till the end of time, you've earned the honor & respect for you've truly loved her. She chose you because she believes that you can fulfil your promise. Win her heart & love her over.
Remember, the girl isn't a trophy for display, she's someone to love, not to show off to your "friends".
1:53 PM
Saturday, October 01, 2005
I've lost the battle... lost my happiness... for no reason.. jus feelings..
tats sad.. y my life is so miserable..
will gd tins happen to mi? waiting for miracles..
I've got no confidence in myself.. i m willing to put in all my effor in every relationship i have. i dun wish to get back the same amount but at least u appreciate wat i did. i jus wana b more understanding & considerate towards u.. i dun wana force u to do anytin tat u dislike.. i love u so i trust u & respect ur decision.. watever it is, i'l have to bear all the pain cos i chose tis way. Ppl nag at mi bcos dey've seen mi suffer & got hurt & broke my heart, so dey wish i can find my real happiness.. & i've found mine but yet it left mi again.
i tin u r scare for some reason.. but jus to tel u, mi & him r nth.. we r jus frens & there's nth can happen betw us cos we r nt fated lor.. really nt suitable or compatible... dun worry.. no rivals now..
how m i able to heal my heart & stand up again?
11:18 PM
Wat sld i say? Alot of qns popping out.. Smth is occupying my mind now.
Dun understand y my life wil end up in tis state? Where goes wrong? How can i salvage it? I tot i m alr living happily, found my happiness le but y all these r jus my imagination? I duno wat exactly happened. Y suddenly everytin changed?But at least i sld noe wats the prob so tat i can do smth to it mah. M i those kind of gal tat guys can easily bully?
U r the one who give mi hope, let mi got the ability to start fr the beginning, forget abt the past. Cos u say u wun hurt mi, wil treasure mi, u love mi. Finally i accepted u cos i noe i've found my happiness. Is tis fate? Since i've lost u in the past, i wish to cherish u more & nt to lose u now. So i treasure u more den b4. To love u, i trust u & let u do wat u like thou i dislike but i giv in cos i dun wana lose u.
No matter wat happen, i wun giv up. I mus fight for my own happiness by all means.
Read smth wich is so true..
1. If you're afraid to love a person because of friendship, you have two choices:
either tell what you feel and let the love take place or hide the feeling under a friendship full of pretensions.
2. It's hard for two people to love each other when they live in two different worlds but when these two worlds collide and become one, that's what you call magic!
3. Love can never be so beautiful without friendship. One leads to another and the process is irreversible. The best of lovers is the greatest of friends!
4. I like you because you're my friend, and because you are my friend I care, and because I care, I love you. I don't love you because you are my friend, I love you because I do!
5. Sometimes I've asked myself, what would make me happy? To think that I have everything else, I get what I want. Then I realized it was YOU, too bad 'cause it's you can't have. I can't choose who I'm gonna love, but I also can't just love who chooses to love me.
6. And you can't blame me in choosing to love you as much as I can't blame you for not learning to love me. I'm sorry if you can't love me the way you loved the one before me, so I'll let you go find him/her and hope someday you'll see that the true love you're looking for was the one who set you free.
7. "How can I say goodbye to someone I never had? Why do tears fall for someone who was never mine? Why is that I miss someone I was never with and I ask why I love someone who's love was never mine?"
8. Isn't it funny we're trying to catch the attention of the one we think we love; we hardly notice the one we're really looking for was just there. You don't notice them till they are in the arms of someone else.
Food for thought, think of this:
9. Have you really cared for someone more than you expected?
10. Have you ever tried to love him/her despite of all the pain?
11. Will you keep on loving him/her as he/she whispers someone else's name? Will you?
12. It's better to lose your pride with someone you love rather than lose that someone you love with your useless pride. When you love someone, don't expect that person to love you back the same amount. One of you will be ahead, the other behind. It's either you catch up or the other waits.
13. When you love, you must not accept anything in return, for if you do, you're not loving but Investing.
14. If you love, you must prepare to accept pain, for if you expect happiness, you're not loving but using. True love hears what is not spoken,and understands what is not explained, for love doesn't work in the mouth, nor the mind, but in the heart...
15. Love is like standing on wet cement, the longer you stay the harder it is to leave and you can never go without leaving your prints behind. Don't love a person like a flower, because a flower dies in season.
16. Love them like a river because a river flows forever.
17. Love doesn't have to have a happy ending, 'cause love doesn't have to end at all.
18. Never be afraid to fall in love. It may hurt a lot,it may give you aches and pains, but if you don't follow your heart, in the end you will cry even more for not giving love a chance.
19. Love may leave your heart like shattered glass, but keep in mind that there's someone who'll be willing to endure the pain of picking up the pieces so you could be whole again.
20. The cruelest thing a guy could do to a girl is to let her fall in love when he doesn't intend to catch her fall! And fooling around with her feelings like they meant nothing!!
11:20 AM