Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Happy Birthday Mum..
2day on 3/4 day mc..
cos i had to do the urine test for my pre-employment den was checked tat too much protein le, but found no germs lor so duno wats wrong. den doctor decided to giv mi some antibiotics to clear it den go back for checkup next fri again.. so ok went back office had my breakfast & ate the medicine... but an hr lata when i was doing filing, got difficulty breathing, cough & rashes on my thighs.. so itchy lor.. duno wat to do so quickly cal up my cousin & ask her how.. cos i duno if i can jus leave the office like tat mah.. den when i cal up the clinic, dey advise mi to go down now, cant wait til lunchtime.. so i get permission & went back to the clinic lor.. tis is my 1st time having drug allergy.. sian.. so doctor changed the medicine for clearing my urine de & oso gave mi a jab to heal the rashes.. ARGH!!! the tin i scared most.. but no alt choice leh.. had the jab on my buttock.. until now i stil dun dare to lie or sit hard on my left buttock ah.. pain ah.. but the jab is powerful lor.. doctor advise tat the jab wil make mi slpy so hav to rest lor, no strength so cant work oso so gave mi a mc.. 20 mins lata when i was waiting at the clinic, i felt very tired & slpy le.. so went back office, submit mc & took a cab hm to rest le.. lucky 2day do stock-take so nth much work to do lor.. if i din go hm, i'l b doing filing & packing cos moving office soon le.. sian.. reach hm quickly wash up & went to slp le..
slp for many hrs le, can i stil slp 2nite? OMG!! cant slp anymore le, rashes gone liao, now jus feel weak lor.. but tml hav to work le.. & sld b a busy day for mi le.. cos i hav to start handling a big customer by myself lor.. :(
tml comex show start le.. free i'l go there & find Ting.. she's working for Epson.. hehe.. tis gal hor, tat day went to my office for briefing but din tel mi earlier.. by the time she tel mi she's reaching alr but stil din tel mi exactly where she is lor.. so i off work jus went off.. if i noe she's jus outside my office, i'l wait for her de lor.. haiz.. no telepathy leh so i duno she's inside the conference room when i walked to the ladies.. but fri i'l b goin down there to get smth.. goin wif my bro, meiyun.. if possible wil meet alvin ba.. duno abt him lah. tot of goin tml de but i wana rush hm watch Superstar lor..
Taka comp is next wk le.. y i wana go leh? wana c him? or to support JBCC? no matter wat reason it is, i'm stil goin lor..
but hor, i'l stil msg him every mth, at least once lor.. & smtimes wil ned to meet up.. cos of personal reasons. its true, aft i started working, i dun hav much time tinking of him liao lor.. so now even if he appear in my mind, its jus memories lor. i'l stil care for him, thou he jus take mi for granted lah. let him b lor.. cos i noe he wun change de..
ppl say to forget someone, the best way is to get urself into a new relationship.. i tin its quite true lah cos u wun tin so much abt him liao mah.. but m i prepared to start afresh? there's alot of tins i'm worrying lor. i scared of many tins.. but yet i duno how to say out my feeling. how leh? wat sld i do? alr been a mth liao but i stil tin its like happen last wk only..
wan shopping but no $.. mus wait til sept 28 den got my 1st pay leh.. sian.. so long lor.. luckily my checkup is subsidise by the co ah.. else i'm really broke le.. cant buy too many tins now.. cos hav outing wif frens..
next wk i'm meeting alot of ppl.. so happy lor..
thur go Taka, can c JBCC ppl, angeline, wanjing & vivien..
fri outing wif poly frens.. all goin except HP.
so glad tat i'm workin in the same bldg as stacey & elaine.. so can find dem go lunch.. 2day stacey msg mi de but i'm at hm liao.. so mayb tml ba.
y move to HarbourFront? fr level 36 demote to level 3.. no scenery at al liao lor.. cant c Sentosa nice view le.. so sian.. & worse tin.. my cousin resigning le.. *sob sob* so sad lor.. tis cousin tat 1 can acknowledge is leaving.. the other cousin tat i hav to keep in secret de stil cant b so close lor.. how ah? so lonely..
so funny.. y i so scare of being alone? m i those kind tat ned ppl to take care of mi? m i so caring & is a gd gf? but if i m, y he din love mi more? i'm afraid to commit to a relationship, cos i tin ppl can easily moved my heart jus by treatin mi very gd lor.. i dun wana hurt anyone liao. i'm afraid histories mite repeat. i dun wana suffer like tat lor.. i got no confidence in myself.
so mayb remain like tis now is a beta way lor.. happy, dun hav to worry so much. but if really mus commit, can i do it?
i did say b4 its beta to b wif smone who love u more den u love him.. but can tis work? if can den wat m i waiting for leh? but i stil tin its too fast liao lor.. tins happen so sudden tat i din realise.. m i stupid? y i'm the one leh? is he true?
love or like, is it the same?
6:05 PM
Saturday, August 27, 2005
Haiz.. where r all my frens? y m i shopping alone 2day?
got the mood to shop, but no ppl accompany.. bo bian jus went alone lor..
go marina checkup le den started my shopping spree.. walked fr marina to suntec to city link den raffles city.. bought tops & shoe..
8:33 PM
Friday, August 26, 2005
5 working days have past.. i'm so tired now..
learnt new tins.. very new to mi.. & so confusing lor.. but trying my best to understand & do correctly.. else many probs wil happen.. but 1st 2 days i was like sitting there do nth lor.. so wil hear mi complaining.. cos i'm half aslp when dey explaining smth to mi & doze off when i jus sit down there.. but supervisor decided to change my job scope & fr then my busy day started..
everyday mus force myself to go to bed early.. even thou i slp so much but i stil feel tired leh.. hehe ;p cos i'm a PIG.. lolx.. i admit lah..
finally wkend le.. but i'm alone.. so sian.. wan go shopping but no one free leh.. haiz.. y i so lonely de?
was happy oso cos wed saw stacey & elaine at dhoby ghuat mrt goin hm.. take same train & chatted.. den thur we met for lunch together.. but tis moment wun last long le.. cos i moving to Harbourfront le.. left 3 wks only..
tired tired tired.. wan shopping leh.. :(
envy hh.. tml she's flying off to Korea le.. so gd.. i guess i'l nv hav tis such at al lor..
8:22 PM
Monday, August 22, 2005
I'm so tired & slpy now.. its been a long time since i woke up early.. & tis timing is like getting prepared to go for sch leh.. y mus work so early? sian leh.. wonder how's the ppl there, is the environment ok, how abt my workload? stressed ah..
Yesterday did write a post but duno y when i submit its blank.. ARGH!! write so much but in the end got nth.. :(
My last saturday was spent happily wif my poly frens.. went out shopping wif ting & hh.. went to hav dinner wif brian oso den went up to GV but we dun wana watch movie so jus play a game of pool & left for the last train as hh needs to go hm liao.. but mi, ting & brian went to Heeren NYDC for a drink until 2am den he sent us hm. reached hm ard 3am & doze off at 4am while waiting for msg.. I duno y tat day i can b so happy.. cos i luf until my cheeks r tired.. but i enjoyed tat moments.. only if everyday i can b like tat..
chit chatting, some topics wil let mi rem him again.. felt sad but sit in silent only lor.. nvm cos i noe he once loved mi deeply but tat was few yrs back.. if u love someone, will u let him/her go? for me, i wun ba.. i cant love someone secretly, i wana b wif him lor..
-back home editing tis post-
last nite watch & burn vcd den 12am den slp, 6 gotta wake up le.. was so tired & slpy tat i was half aslp when dey r explaining tins to mi & doze off when i got nth to do since 5pm. so now hav to go rest early le..
got my access card & bus pass.. can take shuttle bus instead of walking le.. yeah!!
19th wil b located at Harbourfront le..
tired & slpy.. who r those tat hav msg mi tis morning? only my cousin & HIM.. HIM? yes bcos i msg him & he replied mi le.. duno y but i jus wana msg him lor.. but at least he replied & wished mi lor.. i'm happy le.
the office hav nice scenery leh.. can c his blk oso.. haha.. anyway nt bad there lah.. but duno hows the ppl & stress yet lor..
ok gotta go le.. in future anything have to sms or call my hp liao le.. cos u wun c mi online so often liao.. else leave mi a msg here.. cos a pig like mi wil rather slp early.. hehe :p no msn to use there oso.. super sian lor.. got firewall restriction, pc got not much softwares oso.. table very clear anyway moving le lah.. hope my days r getting beta.. work gd, get my mindset right, dun b so tired every day le..
6:43 AM
Friday, August 19, 2005
Haiz.. was tinkin of getting another watch.. so tat i dun hav to keep wearing the DKNY 1.. cos tat is so precious to mi.. dun wish to wear too often & too much scratches on it.. Heartache leh..
who wana giv mi? hehe :p
Ok goin out soon le.. meetin meiyun & she'll accompany mi to marina sq for my medical checkup den mayb walk ard to source for my shoe.. den goin down to IMM to buy smth.. latest by 3pm mus reach hm le cos mus 'bai bai'..
Bye!!
10:05 AM
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
I'm so happy 2day.. quite a few reasons tat make mi so happy 2day...
aft few wks of sadness, finally i'm happy again.. but happy moment wun last long.. once u feel u r happy, u hav to cherish tat time.. when wil i hav such feeling again aft 2day? jus tat few hrs i'm oso very happy liao..
morning wake up quite early, 8.45am.. very long time nv wake up such early liao leh.. nt used to it le.. OMG!! the future is even worse for mi liao.. ~>.<~ prepare myself & out of the hse.. on my way to Epson. Meeting the HR to sign the appt letter.. Such a small world lor.. i actually met Stacey at the lobby.. din tok much cos both of us rushing for time.. keke :p Aft tat went Marina Sq for medical checkup.. Long time din do checkup liao.. din dare to noe my actual height & weight.. but jus now gotta noe tis truth..
My happiness starts:
Smth shocked mi lor.. i weighed only 47.8kg now ah? how can it be? My last weigh was 51 leh but duno how long is it liao lah.. cos i dun dare to face it.. but i din noe i lose so much weight. Perhaps tat period maid nt ard le so din eat much + tat sad period wich makes mi totally no appetite to eat.. but yet i stil look fat leh.. y ah? dun ask mi go do exercise cos i'm a lazy bum. hehe..
Aft checkup, went smwhere.. Den was ask to go Raffles Hospital to do x-ray lor.. closed at 5.30 so i tin mayb wil hav long queue so i leave ard 4.30 heading there as i'm meeting meiyun at 5.30pm so dun b late.. but who noes, the x-ray spend 30 mins only.. haiz.. if i noe so easy, i wil stay longer abit.. =(
Aft meeting meiyun, went parco to shop.. OMG!! bought alot of tops lor.. den walk ard & had sakae sushi wif sis, bro & meiyun.. was so full.. haha.. nice meal.. den went to bugis street to shop.. but hor, my poor atm, no $ liao. :( cos i'm oso sis's atm 2day.. she haven got her pay yet lor.. tats y.. cos i wana go shop tis wk mah so bo bian i say i pay 1st lor..
Tins we bought:
3 tops, 1 coat, 1 mascara & 3 pairs of earrings for mi
1 jeans, 1 necklace, 1 shorts & a renoma gift (for her fren's bday) for sis
1 belt for meiyun.
Poor bro only wana spend time wif his gf.. but make him so tired & hav to carry tins for mi.. hehe ;p
Got to noe tat Lion Dance Comp 2005 is fr 6-10 Sept at Ngee Ann city.. & there r 2 category: traditional & freestyle.. of cos i'm supportin the traditional 1 lah.. & its held on 8th.. thou its a thursday, but i'l stil go down aft work lor.. no matter wat, i'l jus go.. haiz.. since its a wkday, Enen wun b able to go le.. so sad :(
(if u hav been calling a person's name for many yrs, r u used to it when 1 day u hav to change the name? wil u cal correctly?)
Yeah!! sat i no ned b lightbulb liao.. cos hh booked mi le.. we r goin shopping lor.. hehe no $ stil wan shop..
noe wat, i stil haven find a shoe tat i really wan lor.. sian lor.. there r so many shoes out there, but jus dun hav smth tat i like leh.. but if u ask mi wat kind i'm lookin for, i oso duno how to ans u lor.. cos in my mind i dun hav any idea wat i wan.. mayb smth nt too high, can suit formal & casual wear, comfortable & nice 1 lor.. but there sld b smth tat fits mi, y i jus dun like leh?
is choosing shoe & choosing guy the same? for example jus now, at a shoe shop, sis ask mi wat kind i'm lookin for.. i jus show her the old 1 tat i'm wearing lor.. cos in mind i duno wat shoe i really wan. mayb to mi, guy & shoe r jus the same.. duno wat i wan in findin new 1.. prefer the old 1 beta.. thou old & useless but stil the feeling is there & cnt b erased lor. no matter wat u do to it, it jus cant b deleted.
now mayb my wish is to b happy.. jus like how i spend my day 2day.. the few hrs, happy moments.. jus wana cherished every secs, every min tat i hav to b happy.. who wans to b sad?
can i stil hav the happy times? ans is: i duno.. it depends.. mayb nt le.. but jus hope wil hav lor..
11:00 PM
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Signs he is cheating on you
1. Sexual disinterest
Relationship experts warn that unless there is another cause of stress, a sudden loss of interest in sex may indicate he is getting it elsewhere.
2. Emotional changes
Your partner's emotional pattern changes: He starts getting anrgy with you for no good reason; he starts criticising you a lot, becomes distant and doesn't listen to you.
3. Change in daily routine
Cliched excuses about needing to work late or go to gym more often, becoming secretive about his job, or needing to unexpectedly meet a client can all be signs of cheating.
4. Exaggerated displays of affection
He begins to get overly affectionate by showering you with flowers, chocolate and other gifts, especially if they are typically uncommon, in an attempt to throw you off-track.
How you can save your marriage
1. Talk with you partner
Experts advise communicating with your partner if you feel something is goin on. This will give your relationship a shot at survival. Don't just imagine an excuse to let it go.
2. Decide if you want to believe
Did your partner say it only happened that one time? Has he promised not to let it happen again? Has this sort of thing happened before? You need to weigh all the evidence and choose for yourself if you can trust again. Create your own boundaries and let your partner know exactly what you will and will not tolerate.
3. Open up to a buddy
Remember you're not alone. Having heart-to-heart talk with a pal provides invaluable support and can be good for the soul.
4. Believe in yourself
Don't immediately blame yourself. Take time to reassess what went wrong but don't dwell on the past. Instead, think positive - know you're an amazing person and someone will appreciate you.
3:53 PM
Monday, August 15, 2005
Ok shall start fr sat schedule..
Was so boring staying at home so again follow my bro out. Wana c shoe de but b4 dey went out, meiyun said dey goin to IKEA.. sian lor.. duno wana go anot.. dun go alone stay at hm oso nth to do.. so decided to tag along. 4.45pm meet dem at kovan mrt den we went to HarbourFront to walk ard 1st b4 goin to IKEA. Din buy shoe but bought a korean serial show. I saw a episode on the scv 2 wks ago when i'm at his hse waiting for him. so decided to buy & watch the full series.. den went IKEA, bought a container, wana use tat to store al my bags & it can b used as a chair oso. hehe :) den we took the shuttle bus back to SengKang.. When reach hm, awhile lata my mood changed.. cos i saw him deleted my testimonial to him in his friendster. I din noe he'l do tat cos i dun mean anytin to him alr wat.. but y he did it leh? i duno wats on his mind. or is it tat bitch wans him to delete? i was extremely sad over it. thou i sldn't feel tat way if i alr intend to forget abt him.. however, my sadness cnt b shown out.. & shortly Enen came to my hse.. so i jus relax & enjoy my time playing wif him. was tired playing wif him lor.. but my outer was smiling happily, inner feel sad. haiz.. terrible..
Enen oso enjoyed himself, played until 1am den go to bed.. next morning, i got no program.. bro & gf goin to his fren chalet so i gotta stay at hm.. whole family went out for lunch happily.. :( i was bullied by Enen.. but when cousin noe, he scold him & poor boy cried.. feel so sad.. but i din scold him lor, jus let him play & enjoy himself cos seldom hav such nice time wif him. den at hm he's busy playing miniclips thou he dun really noe how to play lah.. & i hav to play gun wif him oso.. haha so tiring. but soon, he hav to leave le.. so sad.. Mite hav to wait til next mth den can c him again..
I was trying to check when is the Taka Lion Dance comp.. sept when? 2 reasons for wanting to noe.. 1 is tat i wana go & support JBCC (not jus bcos of him), 2nd is wana noe le let cousin noe & hopefully can bring Enen go & c.. cos he love dragon & lion dance alot thou he's jus 4yrs old. Thru 'him', i get to noe more abt tis traditional art, thru him, i enjoy it thou elders mite say its for ah-lian & ah-beng & so boring.. but i jus enjoyed goin 'chu shi' or seeing the comp.. its fun. so now not wif him le, cnt b part of dem, i can only giv moral support to dem.. to mi, dey r the best le..
yesterday aft Enen left, i started watching the vcd.. so nice & i watched 9 discs at 1 shot.. den tis morning wake up continue watching until i hav to get ready to go out.. was offered a $1.4k job @ Epson.. i tin the pay is very very low lor.. but i tin i'l take up tis job 1st.. work & learn smth new.. if find it unsuitable den find new 1 ba.. at least i'l hav some income..
A diploma holder working as a Sales Coordinator is taking the same salary as a Sec3 holder working as a Warehouse Assistant.. abit funny lor.. but i can say he'l earn more den mi. jus tat he duno how to handle his $.
Soon i wun b online everyday.. no friendster, email, msn or blogging le.. sian.. aft resting for so long, feel reluctantly to start work leh.. hehe :p
8:54 PM
Friday, August 12, 2005
The decision
6:06 PM
Our new maid is here since last nite..
Her name is Rebecca, 24 yrs old fr Philippines & surprising wif 3 kids le..
Wah!!!
Heard tat tis mth she take $4, & $10 mthly til next yr May leh.. so little only but hav to do so much tin.. poor tin..
9:48 AM
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Saw tis.. & mayb tats wat i wana say out ba..
"Maybe I've never done a thing that moves your heart. Maybe I've never say a word that touches your heart. That's why towards the end; you chose to leave me."
Ok, will be goin out soon.. wish mi gd gd luck..
Yesterday went Guan Yin Temple to pray, den went bugis village to shop. Bought a few items.. a demin dress, a belt.. den went over to bugis, bought a cardigan @ Seiyu.. Spend quite alot le.. :(
Mama say our new maid is coming soon.. either 2day or tml.. she's fr philipines.. & very young only lor.. so my drawer key mus go search liao.. duno where i place it le.. so exp tins mus keep safely..
2day jus rem tat there's some soft toys i kept in my cupboard.. & i love it alot cos its fr him as V'day gift..
Pic 1 Pic 2 Pic 3
Keke :p din mean anytin k..
& oso when i wore the Diesel shoe. i rem tat it comes in a pair de lor.. but his 1 have not been wearing for long le & duno where he place it. Guess he've forgotten tat he once hav tat shoe le ba.. so he's stil continue to buy more..
anyway nt my prob le.. cos its HER prob.. she gonna feed him, support him.. & her final plight is the same as mi.. kena cheated & ditched lor.. cos he can do tis to mi, he'l do tis to u oso.. so dun b happy tat u got him cos tis is the beginning of ur disaster. Congratulations, cos u choose nt to listen to mi.. bleah ;p
Pic 4
& i tin tis is the most impt photo tat i mus keep well.. cos we r happily 2gether at tat time.. no interruptions fr anyone, jus in the world of our own.
11:19 AM
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
National Day 2005, i really enjoy myself but stil at sometimes i tins abt him..
He's always in my mind leh.. but i'm tryin to make it transparent.
But in the car, my auntie mention abt him. & bo bian i jus ans her lor.. din tel dem tat we r nt together le..
Den when we r playing mahjong, he keeps appearing lor & how can i not tin of him leh..
noe y? cos his name is Qing Fa.. & its the bro of Bai Ban & Hong Zhong.. Lolx :D
so really did tin of him the whole day lor..
Wana thanx my uncle & auntie.. cos dey came to fetch us over, cook curry chicken & grilled chicken for our lunch & dinner & oso a delicious dessert, Aloe Vera Ice Jelly.. very nice lor..
Booked the tennis court, & we enjoyed ourselves in the 1hr game.. thou i duno how to play but learn lor.. ball come jus hit.. but nt very gd skill.. hehe :p
Played 2 rounds of mahjong & watched the Parade at the same time.. shiok lor..
Duno is it i'm gd luck yesterday or cos of qing fa, keep winning big game lor.. den overall 'kill' the 2 guys & my aunt won $1.20.. uncle lost almost everytin ah, stil mus take cash out to pay 1st.. so total i won $55.20.
Happy lor, but rcv my hp bill le.. $77 leh.. so stil mus fork out my own $ to pay..
Tis 2 mths bill increase alot lor.. usually is $40+ only mah.. but bcos tis 2 mths i'm having my prob, tokin on the fone for long hrs wif dem & sms-es lor.. all increase le.. :( but guess tis wil stop soon..
Lata goin soon le.. heading to Bugis guan yin temple to pray lor.. wif meiyun. wish tat tml my interview wil success. den wil go bugis village to walk lor.. wat else can i do le? so 2day hav smth to keep myself busy liao.. tml oso goin out in the afternoon..
2:30 PM
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Yesterday Metro last day of sales.. so went down orchard alone.. After buying my stuff, went to Tangs look for Wanjing & tok.. Too much tins to say le but bo bian hav to leave le cos Ying is alr waiting for mi at city hall..
Had Sakae Sushi @ Marina Square.. Queued for quite some times.. By the time we finish eating, most shops r closing le.. so aft walking awhile we headed home..
Din enjoy clubbing so nv join Deen @ Chinablack. Sorry =)
So my mood overall was stil ok lor.. jus tat i tends to look ard mi when i'm outside..
Tok to ying alot..
Wat wil i do if i saw dem together? I would say i feel like slapping her lor. but of cos i cant do tat lah.. so at most wil stare at dem only lor.. wat else can i do? i dun hav to avoid dem.. but jus tat its beta nt to let mi c dem lor..
Now waiting for my bro to come back, den we'l head down to Simei, goin to my uncle's condo to enjoy tis holiday. Playing tennis, mahjong & watch the parade on a big plasma tv.. Wah shiok leh!!! but jus cant c real fireworks lah..
But hor, mus i really go clubbing den can get to noe more guys? As u noe, i dun like such places & i oso dun like my bf to smoke or frequent such places de lor.. so i tin knowing guys fr there wun help.. got beta guys? my expectation quite high de leh..
Say only lah.. how can it b possible to noe guys so soon de.. I'l need a long long period to find the right 1 ba..
Aft tokin to ying, i rem smth.. i roughly noe y he's stil behaving in such way le..
11:03 AM
Sunday, August 07, 2005
Went to the Carnival @ Marina yesterday.. the opening ceremony of the event..
Took the train to Marina Bay & transfer bus 400A to the carnival. its so crowded & too big le duno where to go.. So we jus find a seat at the performing area.
Althou its at the extreme left of the stage but the view seeing the fireworks is so close lor.
Reached at 6pm, watched the military showcase performance.
Den waited for an hr b4 the fireworks started.
At 8pm, the fireworks started. Its presented by the team fr Portugal.
Fireworks 1 Fireworks 2 Fireworks3 Fireworks4
When it ended, we wana get out & go orchard de but at the bus stop, its so crowded & the organisers lost control of the crowd & create a mess at the boarding area. Waited for so long stil din managed to get on the bus so decided to walk out instead.. thou very far lah.. but if waited for the bus, we wun b hm so early le.. reach mrt station 9.15 liao so din go orchard le..
if u guys goin, b prepared.. its so crowded. Cos there's only 2 bus services & 1 train tat allow u to reach there..
if raining, beta dun go cos wil b very muddy..
3:09 PM
Saturday, August 06, 2005
Sorry to say tat my sad feeling came back last nite..
I'm so confused. My mind noes i sld giv up & forget him liao but y my actions not tally wif my tinkin?
Told 3 person abt my feeling at tat time, al i hear fr dem r almost the same lah..
jus watched 'TV Shou Cha Xian' on CH U. tis episode is a gal (named A) checking on her bf & find out tat her bf is oso wif her best fren (named B). & shortly both found out tat he's wif B's sister. & the ending is tat, tat guy is having another gal other den dey 3. 4-timing at 1 time.. Y guys can do such tin? & when his plot is exposed, all the gals left him & even give him a slap. & he pleaded to A, say he's playing only but he love her truly.
When i saw tis show, i was so concern abt it, cos its so similar to me..
Heard their conclusion, very true lor so decided to write here.
Once there's a gal crying by the river side. Den a old man came & asked her wat happen. She ans tat she 'shi lian' le. But the old man luf. The gal scold back tat she's ditched & yet he stil can luf..
But the old man told her this...
You've lose someone who dun love u.
But he've lose someone who love him & lose the ability to love.
Then the gal thanx the old man & stand up on her own.
If u hav used 10 mins to do smth wrong, will u stil spend 20 mins to do the same error?
If u waste 1 yrs wif him, will u stil spend the rest of ur time feeling sad?
The above r true words lah.. i sld listen & stand up again. but 4yrs r/s very hard to forget leh. how long does i need to forget?
Words fr my fren:
I can sure find smone much beta den him. Sld close tis chapter happily & start afresh.
I've to tin al the tins he done to mi b4. Is he worth my tears? Do i wana suffer in silence? Its so unfair to mi, y i love him so much yet he is nt giving as much love back to mi?
I've to pull through tus hardest period now. Hav to slowly move out fr the circle of empty promises, lies & quarrels. Else i'll b hurt over & over again.
I can do it, hav confidence in myself, love myself more, pamper myself.
Nt to suffer in silence, cos he wun noe. & even if he noe, he wun appreciate.
I've decided nt to contact or noe anytin abt him for tis period 1st.. cos i noe my heart stil nt stable wif my mind. pls let mi quickly forget abt everytin.
or is there anyone who i can trust now? let mi shift al my attention to someone new ba. cos i cant depend on my frens al the time. dey hav their own life & i dun wish to affect dem. i felt so irritating lor. y abit of tins wana go disturb others. frens r al busy, & when i dun wish to stay at hm wat can i do? i cant alway b light bulb shining on my bro & his gf mah.
i can say i really duno wat to do liao. i'm lost. lost in the forest waiting for ppl to rescue. hoping tat person is him but tis can nv b true. cos he's happily wif her le.. i dun wish to c dem 2gether. y he choose someone wif tat look? his fren say he's blind but wil he care abt other ppl's comments?
i really wish i'm ok. go ahead scold mi ba, i'm numb le.
2:49 PM
Friday, August 05, 2005
Came across tis in my fren's blog..
There is always somebody, someone important in your life.
That someone holds a significant place in your heart.
You feel pain in your heart when you lost that someone.
You feel lost when that someone isn't with you.
You feel lonelyness.
You feel sadness.
You feel remorseful.
What happen when you lost that someone? You started to wish...
You wish for time to be turned back.
You wish that you won't repeat the mistake.
You wish that you should have treasured that someone.
You wish for GOD to return you that someone
Its sad to say, but it is tue that almost all people started to feel remorseful after they lost that someone.
For some, they never know who is that someone until they lost it.
When i read it, yes i felt its true lor & describe my feeling now.
You always know u're in my heart forever,
even when we r far apart.
When u first kissed me,
it took my breathe away.
i never knew anyone who could make mi feel like this.
You can jus tell how u make me smile,
that's how i know being with you is worth my while.
You know jus to hold my hand,
jus because your my special man.
You can take away my every fears,
just remember to be right here always.
I've given you my heart as a token,
that's i know we will treasure each other.
hope our love never be broken.
So here is my heart, don't let it fall.
Cause remember you r my everything, my all.
Thou u r my everytin, u've broken my heart & our love.
How i wish all tis quarrels dun exist.
How i wish we wun end up like tis now. (yah, i wish time can turn back)
How i wish we r all single, at least wun b so hurtful to noe the truth.
I miss alot of tins now. I hate alot of tins now.
Thou i blog so much liao, but now i tin some of the tins sld b kept in my heart. if really no choice, i'l choose to tel selected ppl only.
For ppl, if u wana tag, i hope u can use ur name. i dun wish to tin abt who tat mystery person is lor. if dun wish to put ur name den dun tag lah..
Dictionary.com
Bitch is:
A woman considered to be spiteful or overbearing.
A lewd woman.
(Lewd = Preoccupied with sex and sexual desire; lustful. Obscene; indecent.)
Slut is:
A woman adulterer
10:34 PM
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Duno who is tat Passerby tat tag in my shoutbox yesterday.. but thanx lor, i noe wat i'm doing.
I jus ned time to forget, but he & mi wil stil b fren lor.
In fact 2day i went to meet him for dinner.. sld noe y i choose tis day.
Had my present ready le & its jus meant for him & no one else so i wld like him to keep it lor.
My whole evening begins....
5.15pm went out to Hougang Mall Popular wana get a hard case to put the reminder note.
5.55pm went to wait for the bus but waited for a long time.. cos mi taking bus 80, wil pass by his place of work lor. was tinkin oh shit, sure cnt b on the same bus as him liao. but who noes, we both waited for tat bus for a long time.
6.25pm he board the bus. there's a seat beside me but he din notice it cos there's another uncle sitting at the other side so quite squeezy lor. den he msg mi say he lata den sit but the bus is getting more crowded liao & only when reach Geylang, he came to sit beside mi.
7.00pm reach the cofffeeshop, Blk 462 near his hse.. was quite happy thou nth much to say lah.
he accept the present & oso signed smth for mi.
BUT my happy meal wif him was interrupted.. 1st was someone fr cc, tat 1 ok lah.. but shortly, his fone rang again.. lolx he scolded vulgarity lor.. bo bian he ans & of cos i noe who was tat caller.. regret now y at tat time i din speak out, at least let her noe tat he's havin dinner wif mi lor.. aft her cal, make mi waste my food.. but was happy to hear tat he was actually scolding her.. lolx
7.30pm finished our dinner and he offered to walk mi to the bus stop. ok nt so bad lor..
& now 8.30pm i'm home le.
When i was on the bus, he msg mi, 'Hope i enjoy my meal'.. but i reply him lor, yes i did enjoy but cos of tat interruption. & i told him to pass msg tat she owe mi an apology lor.. cos she disturbed my short meal wif him..
Really so angry wif her.. bitch..
Anyway jus wana say tat i'm ok le, but smth stil ned times to heal lor..
I glad i stil can contact him, b frens wif him. i oso duno how to say out my feeling wif him now lor. jus noe tat i wun cry liao.. but 1 tin i noe clearly is tat i hate bitch.. esp those slutish kind of bitch.
those kind tat 1 side tels u she's married, yet another side of her is fooling ard wif guys, & even break up other ppl. i jus hate tis kind of ppl no matter who is she.
haha if 1 day saw him outside wif her, guess can suan dem lor..
y is she holding his younger bro's hand?
fr tis sentence, sld hav figure out smth liao ba..
8:30 PM
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Will b tryin hard to forget everytin & b frens wif him. Hope i can do it.
All i can say is tat he can b a gd lover but jus tat he's playful.
Sometimes he's so caring & loving but sometimes bad attitude.
Mayb bcos we both r as stubborn & he's the kind tat wil nv wana say the truth but i'm the kind tat wil do watever to find the truth lor. tats y we cant b together.
Pic 1 Pic 2
Here r those gifts from him.. There sld b more but i forgot wat r the rest liao.. sld b clothes or shoes ba.
Pic 3 Pic 4 Pic 5 Pic 6 Pic 7 Pic 8 Pic 9
Still got a red Puma polo tee bought fr him in Taiwan. He've a white 1.
Pic 10
Here r some items tat he have with him..
Pic 11 Pic 12 Pic 13
All photos that I have, aft posting tis, i shall save everytin in my ext HDD.
2:12 PM
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Tok to Llewell last nite on the fone, say out everytin so at least i tin cry for tat few hrs lor. Chat until so tired, so had a gd slp, but morning slightly awake, i feel bad & stop myself fr tinkin abt him, so tat few hrs of slp is terrible.
When online, quite glad tat frens r concern abt mi. seeing my nick dey'l ask mi how i feel lor..
Thanx HH, Ling & Kaisiang..
Ying, u promise u'l accompany mi next wk hor. Dun forget k.. i'l wait for ur date. hehe :p
Trying to keep myself busy, see the newspaper & started editing photos image size & edit the blog for my cousin.. at last, his blog is done. His wedding photos all r up.. can notice alot of our angel, Enen lor.. hehe..
http://weddingphoto0710.blogspot.com
stil not bad lah..
1 wk din get to c Shermine le.. miss her alot.. sld c her more so tat i'l b happy.
If i'm free tml, wil piece up my memories, all these will be history liao.
Guess i can forget it sooner lor. Cos managed to noe more wat kind of person he is liao..
Thanx gin..
To him:
But we stil can b frens ba..
Take care & tink well.. b matured & stop foolin le..
Family, mum is busy lookin for a maid & settling grandma's hse. wana 'sell' it to my cousin to preserve the hse lor. den discuss wif uncle in HK.. den tis fri mayb wil go to the lawyer place to do documents while grandma stil in gd condition. cos her condition is detoriating le..
10:30 PM
Monday, August 01, 2005
Sorry guys.. had no time to do the tins tat i wisht od o by 2day.. cos i'm handling my personal probs..
sorry to all those ppl who cares for mi.. i've made u guys worried abt mi for so long..
aft deeply in love, sinkin into tis relationship for 4yrs, i had no choice but was forced to give up..
no matter wat i say or do wun save it de..
pls giv mi more time to get recover.. i really wish i can do it lor..
everyday stayin at hm wil make mi go crazy, giv mi space to hav wild imagination lor.. so if guys got any outting, dun forget abt mi.. i'm free for everytin liao..
cos I'M SINGLE & available..
how i wish i dun hav to spend such days, cos i believe i can b a gd lover.. i noe i mus hav did smth wrong but he say al his fault.. i can nv forgive tat bitch.. i'l hate her to core.. dun ever let mi c her..
i wish he'l hav gd future, but i dun wish his other partner is her.. i wana cursed her, no gd life lor.. being 3rd party, look so bitchy & slutish.. small actions... yucks.. she sucks to core..
frens, if can pls help mi, save mi.. cos i'm really hurt in tis relationship.. wil i trust guys? wil i believe in another relation? or my life is suppose to b single 4eva?
i'm so sad, cried for 3 days.. been so tired.. finally forced to give up on him. there's no way i can do le so yah i hav to force myself lor.. but its so difficult.. my heart is so painful.. how i wish i can end al tis..
al become memories.. al tots can nv fulfil.. i can nv go support him in Taka, can nv participate in Chingay 2006..
I'm so sad now.. really cant control my tears liao.. but i stil hav lots of frens ard to hear my complains.. hope wun irritate u.. hope u'l b there for mi..
4:47 PM
Happy Birthday Mum..
2day on 3/4 day mc..
cos i had to do the urine test for my pre-employment den was checked tat too much protein le, but found no germs lor so duno wats wrong. den doctor decided to giv mi some antibiotics to clear it den go back for checkup next fri again.. so ok went back office had my breakfast & ate the medicine... but an hr lata when i was doing filing, got difficulty breathing, cough & rashes on my thighs.. so itchy lor.. duno wat to do so quickly cal up my cousin & ask her how.. cos i duno if i can jus leave the office like tat mah.. den when i cal up the clinic, dey advise mi to go down now, cant wait til lunchtime.. so i get permission & went back to the clinic lor.. tis is my 1st time having drug allergy.. sian.. so doctor changed the medicine for clearing my urine de & oso gave mi a jab to heal the rashes.. ARGH!!! the tin i scared most.. but no alt choice leh.. had the jab on my buttock.. until now i stil dun dare to lie or sit hard on my left buttock ah.. pain ah.. but the jab is powerful lor.. doctor advise tat the jab wil make mi slpy so hav to rest lor, no strength so cant work oso so gave mi a mc.. 20 mins lata when i was waiting at the clinic, i felt very tired & slpy le.. so went back office, submit mc & took a cab hm to rest le.. lucky 2day do stock-take so nth much work to do lor.. if i din go hm, i'l b doing filing & packing cos moving office soon le.. sian.. reach hm quickly wash up & went to slp le..
slp for many hrs le, can i stil slp 2nite? OMG!! cant slp anymore le, rashes gone liao, now jus feel weak lor.. but tml hav to work le.. & sld b a busy day for mi le.. cos i hav to start handling a big customer by myself lor.. :(
tml comex show start le.. free i'l go there & find Ting.. she's working for Epson.. hehe.. tis gal hor, tat day went to my office for briefing but din tel mi earlier.. by the time she tel mi she's reaching alr but stil din tel mi exactly where she is lor.. so i off work jus went off.. if i noe she's jus outside my office, i'l wait for her de lor.. haiz.. no telepathy leh so i duno she's inside the conference room when i walked to the ladies.. but fri i'l b goin down there to get smth.. goin wif my bro, meiyun.. if possible wil meet alvin ba.. duno abt him lah. tot of goin tml de but i wana rush hm watch Superstar lor..
Taka comp is next wk le.. y i wana go leh? wana c him? or to support JBCC? no matter wat reason it is, i'm stil goin lor..
but hor, i'l stil msg him every mth, at least once lor.. & smtimes wil ned to meet up.. cos of personal reasons. its true, aft i started working, i dun hav much time tinking of him liao lor.. so now even if he appear in my mind, its jus memories lor. i'l stil care for him, thou he jus take mi for granted lah. let him b lor.. cos i noe he wun change de..
ppl say to forget someone, the best way is to get urself into a new relationship.. i tin its quite true lah cos u wun tin so much abt him liao mah.. but m i prepared to start afresh? there's alot of tins i'm worrying lor. i scared of many tins.. but yet i duno how to say out my feeling. how leh? wat sld i do? alr been a mth liao but i stil tin its like happen last wk only..
wan shopping but no $.. mus wait til sept 28 den got my 1st pay leh.. sian.. so long lor.. luckily my checkup is subsidise by the co ah.. else i'm really broke le.. cant buy too many tins now.. cos hav outing wif frens..
next wk i'm meeting alot of ppl.. so happy lor..
thur go Taka, can c JBCC ppl, angeline, wanjing & vivien..
fri outing wif poly frens.. all goin except HP.
so glad tat i'm workin in the same bldg as stacey & elaine.. so can find dem go lunch.. 2day stacey msg mi de but i'm at hm liao.. so mayb tml ba.
y move to HarbourFront? fr level 36 demote to level 3.. no scenery at al liao lor.. cant c Sentosa nice view le.. so sian.. & worse tin.. my cousin resigning le.. *sob sob* so sad lor.. tis cousin tat 1 can acknowledge is leaving.. the other cousin tat i hav to keep in secret de stil cant b so close lor.. how ah? so lonely..
so funny.. y i so scare of being alone? m i those kind tat ned ppl to take care of mi? m i so caring & is a gd gf? but if i m, y he din love mi more? i'm afraid to commit to a relationship, cos i tin ppl can easily moved my heart jus by treatin mi very gd lor.. i dun wana hurt anyone liao. i'm afraid histories mite repeat. i dun wana suffer like tat lor.. i got no confidence in myself.
so mayb remain like tis now is a beta way lor.. happy, dun hav to worry so much. but if really mus commit, can i do it?
i did say b4 its beta to b wif smone who love u more den u love him.. but can tis work? if can den wat m i waiting for leh? but i stil tin its too fast liao lor.. tins happen so sudden tat i din realise.. m i stupid? y i'm the one leh? is he true?
love or like, is it the same?
6:05 PM
Saturday, August 27, 2005
Haiz.. where r all my frens? y m i shopping alone 2day?
got the mood to shop, but no ppl accompany.. bo bian jus went alone lor..
go marina checkup le den started my shopping spree.. walked fr marina to suntec to city link den raffles city.. bought tops & shoe..
8:33 PM
Friday, August 26, 2005
5 working days have past.. i'm so tired now..
learnt new tins.. very new to mi.. & so confusing lor.. but trying my best to understand & do correctly.. else many probs wil happen.. but 1st 2 days i was like sitting there do nth lor.. so wil hear mi complaining.. cos i'm half aslp when dey explaining smth to mi & doze off when i jus sit down there.. but supervisor decided to change my job scope & fr then my busy day started..
everyday mus force myself to go to bed early.. even thou i slp so much but i stil feel tired leh.. hehe ;p cos i'm a PIG.. lolx.. i admit lah..
finally wkend le.. but i'm alone.. so sian.. wan go shopping but no one free leh.. haiz.. y i so lonely de?
was happy oso cos wed saw stacey & elaine at dhoby ghuat mrt goin hm.. take same train & chatted.. den thur we met for lunch together.. but tis moment wun last long le.. cos i moving to Harbourfront le.. left 3 wks only..
tired tired tired.. wan shopping leh.. :(
envy hh.. tml she's flying off to Korea le.. so gd.. i guess i'l nv hav tis such at al lor..
8:22 PM
Monday, August 22, 2005
I'm so tired & slpy now.. its been a long time since i woke up early.. & tis timing is like getting prepared to go for sch leh.. y mus work so early? sian leh.. wonder how's the ppl there, is the environment ok, how abt my workload? stressed ah..
Yesterday did write a post but duno y when i submit its blank.. ARGH!! write so much but in the end got nth.. :(
My last saturday was spent happily wif my poly frens.. went out shopping wif ting & hh.. went to hav dinner wif brian oso den went up to GV but we dun wana watch movie so jus play a game of pool & left for the last train as hh needs to go hm liao.. but mi, ting & brian went to Heeren NYDC for a drink until 2am den he sent us hm. reached hm ard 3am & doze off at 4am while waiting for msg.. I duno y tat day i can b so happy.. cos i luf until my cheeks r tired.. but i enjoyed tat moments.. only if everyday i can b like tat..
chit chatting, some topics wil let mi rem him again.. felt sad but sit in silent only lor.. nvm cos i noe he once loved mi deeply but tat was few yrs back.. if u love someone, will u let him/her go? for me, i wun ba.. i cant love someone secretly, i wana b wif him lor..
-back home editing tis post-
last nite watch & burn vcd den 12am den slp, 6 gotta wake up le.. was so tired & slpy tat i was half aslp when dey r explaining tins to mi & doze off when i got nth to do since 5pm. so now hav to go rest early le..
got my access card & bus pass.. can take shuttle bus instead of walking le.. yeah!!
19th wil b located at Harbourfront le..
tired & slpy.. who r those tat hav msg mi tis morning? only my cousin & HIM.. HIM? yes bcos i msg him & he replied mi le.. duno y but i jus wana msg him lor.. but at least he replied & wished mi lor.. i'm happy le.
the office hav nice scenery leh.. can c his blk oso.. haha.. anyway nt bad there lah.. but duno hows the ppl & stress yet lor..
ok gotta go le.. in future anything have to sms or call my hp liao le.. cos u wun c mi online so often liao.. else leave mi a msg here.. cos a pig like mi wil rather slp early.. hehe :p no msn to use there oso.. super sian lor.. got firewall restriction, pc got not much softwares oso.. table very clear anyway moving le lah.. hope my days r getting beta.. work gd, get my mindset right, dun b so tired every day le..
6:43 AM
Friday, August 19, 2005
Haiz.. was tinkin of getting another watch.. so tat i dun hav to keep wearing the DKNY 1.. cos tat is so precious to mi.. dun wish to wear too often & too much scratches on it.. Heartache leh..
who wana giv mi? hehe :p
Ok goin out soon le.. meetin meiyun & she'll accompany mi to marina sq for my medical checkup den mayb walk ard to source for my shoe.. den goin down to IMM to buy smth.. latest by 3pm mus reach hm le cos mus 'bai bai'..
Bye!!
10:05 AM
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
I'm so happy 2day.. quite a few reasons tat make mi so happy 2day...
aft few wks of sadness, finally i'm happy again.. but happy moment wun last long.. once u feel u r happy, u hav to cherish tat time.. when wil i hav such feeling again aft 2day? jus tat few hrs i'm oso very happy liao..
morning wake up quite early, 8.45am.. very long time nv wake up such early liao leh.. nt used to it le.. OMG!! the future is even worse for mi liao.. ~>.<~ prepare myself & out of the hse.. on my way to Epson. Meeting the HR to sign the appt letter.. Such a small world lor.. i actually met Stacey at the lobby.. din tok much cos both of us rushing for time.. keke :p Aft tat went Marina Sq for medical checkup.. Long time din do checkup liao.. din dare to noe my actual height & weight.. but jus now gotta noe tis truth..
My happiness starts:
Smth shocked mi lor.. i weighed only 47.8kg now ah? how can it be? My last weigh was 51 leh but duno how long is it liao lah.. cos i dun dare to face it.. but i din noe i lose so much weight. Perhaps tat period maid nt ard le so din eat much + tat sad period wich makes mi totally no appetite to eat.. but yet i stil look fat leh.. y ah? dun ask mi go do exercise cos i'm a lazy bum. hehe..
Aft checkup, went smwhere.. Den was ask to go Raffles Hospital to do x-ray lor.. closed at 5.30 so i tin mayb wil hav long queue so i leave ard 4.30 heading there as i'm meeting meiyun at 5.30pm so dun b late.. but who noes, the x-ray spend 30 mins only.. haiz.. if i noe so easy, i wil stay longer abit.. =(
Aft meeting meiyun, went parco to shop.. OMG!! bought alot of tops lor.. den walk ard & had sakae sushi wif sis, bro & meiyun.. was so full.. haha.. nice meal.. den went to bugis street to shop.. but hor, my poor atm, no $ liao. :( cos i'm oso sis's atm 2day.. she haven got her pay yet lor.. tats y.. cos i wana go shop tis wk mah so bo bian i say i pay 1st lor..
Tins we bought:
3 tops, 1 coat, 1 mascara & 3 pairs of earrings for mi
1 jeans, 1 necklace, 1 shorts & a renoma gift (for her fren's bday) for sis
1 belt for meiyun.
Poor bro only wana spend time wif his gf.. but make him so tired & hav to carry tins for mi.. hehe ;p
Got to noe tat Lion Dance Comp 2005 is fr 6-10 Sept at Ngee Ann city.. & there r 2 category: traditional & freestyle.. of cos i'm supportin the traditional 1 lah.. & its held on 8th.. thou its a thursday, but i'l stil go down aft work lor.. no matter wat, i'l jus go.. haiz.. since its a wkday, Enen wun b able to go le.. so sad :(
(if u hav been calling a person's name for many yrs, r u used to it when 1 day u hav to change the name? wil u cal correctly?)
Yeah!! sat i no ned b lightbulb liao.. cos hh booked mi le.. we r goin shopping lor.. hehe no $ stil wan shop..
noe wat, i stil haven find a shoe tat i really wan lor.. sian lor.. there r so many shoes out there, but jus dun hav smth tat i like leh.. but if u ask mi wat kind i'm lookin for, i oso duno how to ans u lor.. cos in my mind i dun hav any idea wat i wan.. mayb smth nt too high, can suit formal & casual wear, comfortable & nice 1 lor.. but there sld b smth tat fits mi, y i jus dun like leh?
is choosing shoe & choosing guy the same? for example jus now, at a shoe shop, sis ask mi wat kind i'm lookin for.. i jus show her the old 1 tat i'm wearing lor.. cos in mind i duno wat shoe i really wan. mayb to mi, guy & shoe r jus the same.. duno wat i wan in findin new 1.. prefer the old 1 beta.. thou old & useless but stil the feeling is there & cnt b erased lor. no matter wat u do to it, it jus cant b deleted.
now mayb my wish is to b happy.. jus like how i spend my day 2day.. the few hrs, happy moments.. jus wana cherished every secs, every min tat i hav to b happy.. who wans to b sad?
can i stil hav the happy times? ans is: i duno.. it depends.. mayb nt le.. but jus hope wil hav lor..
11:00 PM
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Signs he is cheating on you
1. Sexual disinterest
Relationship experts warn that unless there is another cause of stress, a sudden loss of interest in sex may indicate he is getting it elsewhere.
2. Emotional changes
Your partner's emotional pattern changes: He starts getting anrgy with you for no good reason; he starts criticising you a lot, becomes distant and doesn't listen to you.
3. Change in daily routine
Cliched excuses about needing to work late or go to gym more often, becoming secretive about his job, or needing to unexpectedly meet a client can all be signs of cheating.
4. Exaggerated displays of affection
He begins to get overly affectionate by showering you with flowers, chocolate and other gifts, especially if they are typically uncommon, in an attempt to throw you off-track.
How you can save your marriage
1. Talk with you partner
Experts advise communicating with your partner if you feel something is goin on. This will give your relationship a shot at survival. Don't just imagine an excuse to let it go.
2. Decide if you want to believe
Did your partner say it only happened that one time? Has he promised not to let it happen again? Has this sort of thing happened before? You need to weigh all the evidence and choose for yourself if you can trust again. Create your own boundaries and let your partner know exactly what you will and will not tolerate.
3. Open up to a buddy
Remember you're not alone. Having heart-to-heart talk with a pal provides invaluable support and can be good for the soul.
4. Believe in yourself
Don't immediately blame yourself. Take time to reassess what went wrong but don't dwell on the past. Instead, think positive - know you're an amazing person and someone will appreciate you.
3:53 PM
Monday, August 15, 2005
Ok shall start fr sat schedule..
Was so boring staying at home so again follow my bro out. Wana c shoe de but b4 dey went out, meiyun said dey goin to IKEA.. sian lor.. duno wana go anot.. dun go alone stay at hm oso nth to do.. so decided to tag along. 4.45pm meet dem at kovan mrt den we went to HarbourFront to walk ard 1st b4 goin to IKEA. Din buy shoe but bought a korean serial show. I saw a episode on the scv 2 wks ago when i'm at his hse waiting for him. so decided to buy & watch the full series.. den went IKEA, bought a container, wana use tat to store al my bags & it can b used as a chair oso. hehe :) den we took the shuttle bus back to SengKang.. When reach hm, awhile lata my mood changed.. cos i saw him deleted my testimonial to him in his friendster. I din noe he'l do tat cos i dun mean anytin to him alr wat.. but y he did it leh? i duno wats on his mind. or is it tat bitch wans him to delete? i was extremely sad over it. thou i sldn't feel tat way if i alr intend to forget abt him.. however, my sadness cnt b shown out.. & shortly Enen came to my hse.. so i jus relax & enjoy my time playing wif him. was tired playing wif him lor.. but my outer was smiling happily, inner feel sad. haiz.. terrible..
Enen oso enjoyed himself, played until 1am den go to bed.. next morning, i got no program.. bro & gf goin to his fren chalet so i gotta stay at hm.. whole family went out for lunch happily.. :( i was bullied by Enen.. but when cousin noe, he scold him & poor boy cried.. feel so sad.. but i din scold him lor, jus let him play & enjoy himself cos seldom hav such nice time wif him. den at hm he's busy playing miniclips thou he dun really noe how to play lah.. & i hav to play gun wif him oso.. haha so tiring. but soon, he hav to leave le.. so sad.. Mite hav to wait til next mth den can c him again..
I was trying to check when is the Taka Lion Dance comp.. sept when? 2 reasons for wanting to noe.. 1 is tat i wana go & support JBCC (not jus bcos of him), 2nd is wana noe le let cousin noe & hopefully can bring Enen go & c.. cos he love dragon & lion dance alot thou he's jus 4yrs old. Thru 'him', i get to noe more abt tis traditional art, thru him, i enjoy it thou elders mite say its for ah-lian & ah-beng & so boring.. but i jus enjoyed goin 'chu shi' or seeing the comp.. its fun. so now not wif him le, cnt b part of dem, i can only giv moral support to dem.. to mi, dey r the best le..
yesterday aft Enen left, i started watching the vcd.. so nice & i watched 9 discs at 1 shot.. den tis morning wake up continue watching until i hav to get ready to go out.. was offered a $1.4k job @ Epson.. i tin the pay is very very low lor.. but i tin i'l take up tis job 1st.. work & learn smth new.. if find it unsuitable den find new 1 ba.. at least i'l hav some income..
A diploma holder working as a Sales Coordinator is taking the same salary as a Sec3 holder working as a Warehouse Assistant.. abit funny lor.. but i can say he'l earn more den mi. jus tat he duno how to handle his $.
Soon i wun b online everyday.. no friendster, email, msn or blogging le.. sian.. aft resting for so long, feel reluctantly to start work leh.. hehe :p
8:54 PM
Friday, August 12, 2005
Wat I wan & feel
I want nothing more then to be loved.
some girls care about looks, some care about characters..
But ALL girls want a guy who will love and care for them. i'm one of them i can say.
Love means devotion, caring and happiness to a girl in that order,
Hearing the words " I love You" is a great reassurance to a girl that she is beautiful.
As i can say,
LOVE IS BLIND...
LOVE CAN GIVE YOU STRENGTH..
LOVE IS SO SWEET TO A GIRL..
Although i know i love him more than he loves me.. as long as we r happy together. he cares and concern about me, he dotes me.. i'm already satisfied le.. i dun wanna expect so much..
jus treasure what i have now! Hope he will treasure too..
some girls care about looks, some care about characters..
But ALL girls want a guy who will love and care for them. i'm one of them i can say.
Love means devotion, caring and happiness to a girl in that order,
Hearing the words " I love You" is a great reassurance to a girl that she is beautiful.
As i can say,
LOVE IS BLIND...
LOVE CAN GIVE YOU STRENGTH..
LOVE IS SO SWEET TO A GIRL..
Although i know i love him more than he loves me.. as long as we r happy together. he cares and concern about me, he dotes me.. i'm already satisfied le.. i dun wanna expect so much..
jus treasure what i have now! Hope he will treasure too..
The decision
Everybody has their own decision B4 u made a certain decision, think twice b4 u act.
Once you have made a decision, nv regret abt it,
Once somebody made a mistake they'll ask for 1 more chance. Den they'll try to change it, u always like to give them a chance cos u r the one who really love him/her very much.
Once somebody made a mistake they'll ask for 1 more chance. Den they'll try to change it, u always like to give them a chance cos u r the one who really love him/her very much.
if they repeat the same mistakes again or others mistakes, u'll still give him/her another chance. But if u keep giving him/her a chance, will he/she really change?
Sometimes yes, Sometimes no.
Once you give him/her too many chances, u'll get tired.. Ur loved 1 will always ask for more chance.. therefore, they'll continue make the mistake again and again...
Once u r given a chance, pls grab it, dun miss it...
Once u r given a chance, pls grab it, dun miss it...
not jus only love relationship, friendship is the same also..
Treasure whateva chance you have. Maybe it's e last chance that ur loves 1 gave u.
Treasure whateva chance you have. Maybe it's e last chance that ur loves 1 gave u.
Dun keep dissappointing hin/her again!
Try to amend your mistake, dun repeat it. Prove it to her/him u really can change it!
Cos ur loved 1 will get tired 1 day & the feeling will fade.
*cherish e chance u had now.. Never let it go or waste it*
*love him or her for what he/she is*
*dun expect so much from him/her, if so they will too stress and get worry alot of this relationship. may cause it unstable*
*jus treasure ok.. believe me*
*cherish e chance u had now.. Never let it go or waste it*
*love him or her for what he/she is*
*dun expect so much from him/her, if so they will too stress and get worry alot of this relationship. may cause it unstable*
*jus treasure ok.. believe me*
Is Love miserable?
Y loving somebody is so miserable?
it's blessed when u r being loves by somebody, it's miserable when u love somebody"
Is it true? Y? is it becos when u r being loved, u nv cherish him/ her tat's y u learnt your lesson only when u met your dream gal/guy den u noe what's love?
Y love is so troublesome, complicated?
it's blessed when u r being loves by somebody, it's miserable when u love somebody"
Is it true? Y? is it becos when u r being loved, u nv cherish him/ her tat's y u learnt your lesson only when u met your dream gal/guy den u noe what's love?
Y love is so troublesome, complicated?
Y mus couples encounter so many obstacles during the time they r 2gether?
is it wat we so-called "True Love"?
Y sometimes when couple really love each other so much yet they still cnt be 2gether?
or the person he/she likes in the end cannot be 2gether?
is this fated? y heaven has to make fun out of them?
is there anything fair in the world?
nth is fair~~ NTh is perfect~~
If the world is fair, there won't be any diff between guys and Girls
All the things in this world fated, its depend on Destiny whether you'll meet a gd/bad guy/gal.. But if heaven did give you a chance to get to noe somebody but u jus slip the chance & let fate decide all this, is it called "FATE"?
All the things in this world fated, its depend on Destiny whether you'll meet a gd/bad guy/gal.. But if heaven did give you a chance to get to noe somebody but u jus slip the chance & let fate decide all this, is it called "FATE"?
i dun really think so, sometimes u get a chance, u mus grab it. dun lose it..
We can have many crushes, but only have 1 person that will stay in ur heart 4eva & that person is the 1 u love most. But some can b wif him/her and some cannot.
We can have many crushes, but only have 1 person that will stay in ur heart 4eva & that person is the 1 u love most. But some can b wif him/her and some cannot.
*So i can say i'm the unlucky one*
U'll meet a person who loves u most den U'll meet a person when u luv him/her most.. Cos after u noe U being love, den u'll noe how to love others.
U'll meet a person who loves u most den U'll meet a person when u luv him/her most.. Cos after u noe U being love, den u'll noe how to love others.
*before i meet all guys that they love me most, so now i really noe how to love others*
and is also depends how u going to handle this relationship.. if u wanna let it happy and long lasting then it wil be longer and lasting.. if u dun really care abt the relationship, then u won't be lasting and loving.. that's the path u all choose..As i said before, cherish whateva u have with your partner now.. or else u'll regret...
6:06 PM
Our new maid is here since last nite..
Her name is Rebecca, 24 yrs old fr Philippines & surprising wif 3 kids le..
Wah!!!
Heard tat tis mth she take $4, & $10 mthly til next yr May leh.. so little only but hav to do so much tin.. poor tin..
9:48 AM
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Saw tis.. & mayb tats wat i wana say out ba..
"Maybe I've never done a thing that moves your heart. Maybe I've never say a word that touches your heart. That's why towards the end; you chose to leave me."
Ok, will be goin out soon.. wish mi gd gd luck..
Yesterday went Guan Yin Temple to pray, den went bugis village to shop. Bought a few items.. a demin dress, a belt.. den went over to bugis, bought a cardigan @ Seiyu.. Spend quite alot le.. :(
Mama say our new maid is coming soon.. either 2day or tml.. she's fr philipines.. & very young only lor.. so my drawer key mus go search liao.. duno where i place it le.. so exp tins mus keep safely..
2day jus rem tat there's some soft toys i kept in my cupboard.. & i love it alot cos its fr him as V'day gift..
Pic 1 Pic 2 Pic 3
Keke :p din mean anytin k..
& oso when i wore the Diesel shoe. i rem tat it comes in a pair de lor.. but his 1 have not been wearing for long le & duno where he place it. Guess he've forgotten tat he once hav tat shoe le ba.. so he's stil continue to buy more..
anyway nt my prob le.. cos its HER prob.. she gonna feed him, support him.. & her final plight is the same as mi.. kena cheated & ditched lor.. cos he can do tis to mi, he'l do tis to u oso.. so dun b happy tat u got him cos tis is the beginning of ur disaster. Congratulations, cos u choose nt to listen to mi.. bleah ;p
Pic 4
& i tin tis is the most impt photo tat i mus keep well.. cos we r happily 2gether at tat time.. no interruptions fr anyone, jus in the world of our own.
11:19 AM
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
National Day 2005, i really enjoy myself but stil at sometimes i tins abt him..
He's always in my mind leh.. but i'm tryin to make it transparent.
But in the car, my auntie mention abt him. & bo bian i jus ans her lor.. din tel dem tat we r nt together le..
Den when we r playing mahjong, he keeps appearing lor & how can i not tin of him leh..
noe y? cos his name is Qing Fa.. & its the bro of Bai Ban & Hong Zhong.. Lolx :D
so really did tin of him the whole day lor..
Wana thanx my uncle & auntie.. cos dey came to fetch us over, cook curry chicken & grilled chicken for our lunch & dinner & oso a delicious dessert, Aloe Vera Ice Jelly.. very nice lor..
Booked the tennis court, & we enjoyed ourselves in the 1hr game.. thou i duno how to play but learn lor.. ball come jus hit.. but nt very gd skill.. hehe :p
Played 2 rounds of mahjong & watched the Parade at the same time.. shiok lor..
Duno is it i'm gd luck yesterday or cos of qing fa, keep winning big game lor.. den overall 'kill' the 2 guys & my aunt won $1.20.. uncle lost almost everytin ah, stil mus take cash out to pay 1st.. so total i won $55.20.
Happy lor, but rcv my hp bill le.. $77 leh.. so stil mus fork out my own $ to pay..
Tis 2 mths bill increase alot lor.. usually is $40+ only mah.. but bcos tis 2 mths i'm having my prob, tokin on the fone for long hrs wif dem & sms-es lor.. all increase le.. :( but guess tis wil stop soon..
Lata goin soon le.. heading to Bugis guan yin temple to pray lor.. wif meiyun. wish tat tml my interview wil success. den wil go bugis village to walk lor.. wat else can i do le? so 2day hav smth to keep myself busy liao.. tml oso goin out in the afternoon..
2:30 PM
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Yesterday Metro last day of sales.. so went down orchard alone.. After buying my stuff, went to Tangs look for Wanjing & tok.. Too much tins to say le but bo bian hav to leave le cos Ying is alr waiting for mi at city hall..
Had Sakae Sushi @ Marina Square.. Queued for quite some times.. By the time we finish eating, most shops r closing le.. so aft walking awhile we headed home..
Din enjoy clubbing so nv join Deen @ Chinablack. Sorry =)
So my mood overall was stil ok lor.. jus tat i tends to look ard mi when i'm outside..
Tok to ying alot..
Wat wil i do if i saw dem together? I would say i feel like slapping her lor. but of cos i cant do tat lah.. so at most wil stare at dem only lor.. wat else can i do? i dun hav to avoid dem.. but jus tat its beta nt to let mi c dem lor..
Now waiting for my bro to come back, den we'l head down to Simei, goin to my uncle's condo to enjoy tis holiday. Playing tennis, mahjong & watch the parade on a big plasma tv.. Wah shiok leh!!! but jus cant c real fireworks lah..
But hor, mus i really go clubbing den can get to noe more guys? As u noe, i dun like such places & i oso dun like my bf to smoke or frequent such places de lor.. so i tin knowing guys fr there wun help.. got beta guys? my expectation quite high de leh..
Say only lah.. how can it b possible to noe guys so soon de.. I'l need a long long period to find the right 1 ba..
Aft tokin to ying, i rem smth.. i roughly noe y he's stil behaving in such way le..
11:03 AM
Sunday, August 07, 2005
Went to the Carnival @ Marina yesterday.. the opening ceremony of the event..
Took the train to Marina Bay & transfer bus 400A to the carnival. its so crowded & too big le duno where to go.. So we jus find a seat at the performing area.
Althou its at the extreme left of the stage but the view seeing the fireworks is so close lor.
Reached at 6pm, watched the military showcase performance.
Den waited for an hr b4 the fireworks started.
At 8pm, the fireworks started. Its presented by the team fr Portugal.
Fireworks 1 Fireworks 2 Fireworks3 Fireworks4
When it ended, we wana get out & go orchard de but at the bus stop, its so crowded & the organisers lost control of the crowd & create a mess at the boarding area. Waited for so long stil din managed to get on the bus so decided to walk out instead.. thou very far lah.. but if waited for the bus, we wun b hm so early le.. reach mrt station 9.15 liao so din go orchard le..
if u guys goin, b prepared.. its so crowded. Cos there's only 2 bus services & 1 train tat allow u to reach there..
if raining, beta dun go cos wil b very muddy..
3:09 PM
Saturday, August 06, 2005
Sorry to say tat my sad feeling came back last nite..
I'm so confused. My mind noes i sld giv up & forget him liao but y my actions not tally wif my tinkin?
Told 3 person abt my feeling at tat time, al i hear fr dem r almost the same lah..
jus watched 'TV Shou Cha Xian' on CH U. tis episode is a gal (named A) checking on her bf & find out tat her bf is oso wif her best fren (named B). & shortly both found out tat he's wif B's sister. & the ending is tat, tat guy is having another gal other den dey 3. 4-timing at 1 time.. Y guys can do such tin? & when his plot is exposed, all the gals left him & even give him a slap. & he pleaded to A, say he's playing only but he love her truly.
When i saw tis show, i was so concern abt it, cos its so similar to me..
Heard their conclusion, very true lor so decided to write here.
Once there's a gal crying by the river side. Den a old man came & asked her wat happen. She ans tat she 'shi lian' le. But the old man luf. The gal scold back tat she's ditched & yet he stil can luf..
But the old man told her this...
You've lose someone who dun love u.
But he've lose someone who love him & lose the ability to love.
Then the gal thanx the old man & stand up on her own.
If u hav used 10 mins to do smth wrong, will u stil spend 20 mins to do the same error?
If u waste 1 yrs wif him, will u stil spend the rest of ur time feeling sad?
The above r true words lah.. i sld listen & stand up again. but 4yrs r/s very hard to forget leh. how long does i need to forget?
Words fr my fren:
I can sure find smone much beta den him. Sld close tis chapter happily & start afresh.
I've to tin al the tins he done to mi b4. Is he worth my tears? Do i wana suffer in silence? Its so unfair to mi, y i love him so much yet he is nt giving as much love back to mi?
I've to pull through tus hardest period now. Hav to slowly move out fr the circle of empty promises, lies & quarrels. Else i'll b hurt over & over again.
I can do it, hav confidence in myself, love myself more, pamper myself.
Nt to suffer in silence, cos he wun noe. & even if he noe, he wun appreciate.
I've decided nt to contact or noe anytin abt him for tis period 1st.. cos i noe my heart stil nt stable wif my mind. pls let mi quickly forget abt everytin.
or is there anyone who i can trust now? let mi shift al my attention to someone new ba. cos i cant depend on my frens al the time. dey hav their own life & i dun wish to affect dem. i felt so irritating lor. y abit of tins wana go disturb others. frens r al busy, & when i dun wish to stay at hm wat can i do? i cant alway b light bulb shining on my bro & his gf mah.
i can say i really duno wat to do liao. i'm lost. lost in the forest waiting for ppl to rescue. hoping tat person is him but tis can nv b true. cos he's happily wif her le.. i dun wish to c dem 2gether. y he choose someone wif tat look? his fren say he's blind but wil he care abt other ppl's comments?
i really wish i'm ok. go ahead scold mi ba, i'm numb le.
2:49 PM
Friday, August 05, 2005
Came across tis in my fren's blog..
There is always somebody, someone important in your life.
That someone holds a significant place in your heart.
You feel pain in your heart when you lost that someone.
You feel lost when that someone isn't with you.
You feel lonelyness.
You feel sadness.
You feel remorseful.
What happen when you lost that someone? You started to wish...
You wish for time to be turned back.
You wish that you won't repeat the mistake.
You wish that you should have treasured that someone.
You wish for GOD to return you that someone
Its sad to say, but it is tue that almost all people started to feel remorseful after they lost that someone.
For some, they never know who is that someone until they lost it.
When i read it, yes i felt its true lor & describe my feeling now.
You always know u're in my heart forever,
even when we r far apart.
When u first kissed me,
it took my breathe away.
i never knew anyone who could make mi feel like this.
You can jus tell how u make me smile,
that's how i know being with you is worth my while.
You know jus to hold my hand,
jus because your my special man.
You can take away my every fears,
just remember to be right here always.
I've given you my heart as a token,
that's i know we will treasure each other.
hope our love never be broken.
So here is my heart, don't let it fall.
Cause remember you r my everything, my all.
Thou u r my everytin, u've broken my heart & our love.
How i wish all tis quarrels dun exist.
How i wish we wun end up like tis now. (yah, i wish time can turn back)
How i wish we r all single, at least wun b so hurtful to noe the truth.
I miss alot of tins now. I hate alot of tins now.
Thou i blog so much liao, but now i tin some of the tins sld b kept in my heart. if really no choice, i'l choose to tel selected ppl only.
For ppl, if u wana tag, i hope u can use ur name. i dun wish to tin abt who tat mystery person is lor. if dun wish to put ur name den dun tag lah..
Dictionary.com
Bitch is:
A woman considered to be spiteful or overbearing.
A lewd woman.
(Lewd = Preoccupied with sex and sexual desire; lustful. Obscene; indecent.)
Slut is:
A woman adulterer
10:34 PM
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Duno who is tat Passerby tat tag in my shoutbox yesterday.. but thanx lor, i noe wat i'm doing.
I jus ned time to forget, but he & mi wil stil b fren lor.
In fact 2day i went to meet him for dinner.. sld noe y i choose tis day.
Had my present ready le & its jus meant for him & no one else so i wld like him to keep it lor.
My whole evening begins....
5.15pm went out to Hougang Mall Popular wana get a hard case to put the reminder note.
5.55pm went to wait for the bus but waited for a long time.. cos mi taking bus 80, wil pass by his place of work lor. was tinkin oh shit, sure cnt b on the same bus as him liao. but who noes, we both waited for tat bus for a long time.
6.25pm he board the bus. there's a seat beside me but he din notice it cos there's another uncle sitting at the other side so quite squeezy lor. den he msg mi say he lata den sit but the bus is getting more crowded liao & only when reach Geylang, he came to sit beside mi.
7.00pm reach the cofffeeshop, Blk 462 near his hse.. was quite happy thou nth much to say lah.
he accept the present & oso signed smth for mi.
BUT my happy meal wif him was interrupted.. 1st was someone fr cc, tat 1 ok lah.. but shortly, his fone rang again.. lolx he scolded vulgarity lor.. bo bian he ans & of cos i noe who was tat caller.. regret now y at tat time i din speak out, at least let her noe tat he's havin dinner wif mi lor.. aft her cal, make mi waste my food.. but was happy to hear tat he was actually scolding her.. lolx
7.30pm finished our dinner and he offered to walk mi to the bus stop. ok nt so bad lor..
& now 8.30pm i'm home le.
When i was on the bus, he msg mi, 'Hope i enjoy my meal'.. but i reply him lor, yes i did enjoy but cos of tat interruption. & i told him to pass msg tat she owe mi an apology lor.. cos she disturbed my short meal wif him..
Really so angry wif her.. bitch..
Anyway jus wana say tat i'm ok le, but smth stil ned times to heal lor..
I glad i stil can contact him, b frens wif him. i oso duno how to say out my feeling wif him now lor. jus noe tat i wun cry liao.. but 1 tin i noe clearly is tat i hate bitch.. esp those slutish kind of bitch.
those kind tat 1 side tels u she's married, yet another side of her is fooling ard wif guys, & even break up other ppl. i jus hate tis kind of ppl no matter who is she.
haha if 1 day saw him outside wif her, guess can suan dem lor..
y is she holding his younger bro's hand?
fr tis sentence, sld hav figure out smth liao ba..
8:30 PM
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Will b tryin hard to forget everytin & b frens wif him. Hope i can do it.
All i can say is tat he can b a gd lover but jus tat he's playful.
Sometimes he's so caring & loving but sometimes bad attitude.
Mayb bcos we both r as stubborn & he's the kind tat wil nv wana say the truth but i'm the kind tat wil do watever to find the truth lor. tats y we cant b together.
Pic 1 Pic 2
Here r those gifts from him.. There sld b more but i forgot wat r the rest liao.. sld b clothes or shoes ba.
Pic 3 Pic 4 Pic 5 Pic 6 Pic 7 Pic 8 Pic 9
Still got a red Puma polo tee bought fr him in Taiwan. He've a white 1.
Pic 10
Here r some items tat he have with him..
Pic 11 Pic 12 Pic 13
All photos that I have, aft posting tis, i shall save everytin in my ext HDD.
2:12 PM
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Tok to Llewell last nite on the fone, say out everytin so at least i tin cry for tat few hrs lor. Chat until so tired, so had a gd slp, but morning slightly awake, i feel bad & stop myself fr tinkin abt him, so tat few hrs of slp is terrible.
When online, quite glad tat frens r concern abt mi. seeing my nick dey'l ask mi how i feel lor..
Thanx HH, Ling & Kaisiang..
Ying, u promise u'l accompany mi next wk hor. Dun forget k.. i'l wait for ur date. hehe :p
Trying to keep myself busy, see the newspaper & started editing photos image size & edit the blog for my cousin.. at last, his blog is done. His wedding photos all r up.. can notice alot of our angel, Enen lor.. hehe..
http://weddingphoto0710.blogspot.com
stil not bad lah..
1 wk din get to c Shermine le.. miss her alot.. sld c her more so tat i'l b happy.
If i'm free tml, wil piece up my memories, all these will be history liao.
Guess i can forget it sooner lor. Cos managed to noe more wat kind of person he is liao..
Thanx gin..
To him:
But we stil can b frens ba..
Take care & tink well.. b matured & stop foolin le..
Family, mum is busy lookin for a maid & settling grandma's hse. wana 'sell' it to my cousin to preserve the hse lor. den discuss wif uncle in HK.. den tis fri mayb wil go to the lawyer place to do documents while grandma stil in gd condition. cos her condition is detoriating le..
10:30 PM
Monday, August 01, 2005
Sorry guys.. had no time to do the tins tat i wisht od o by 2day.. cos i'm handling my personal probs..
sorry to all those ppl who cares for mi.. i've made u guys worried abt mi for so long..
aft deeply in love, sinkin into tis relationship for 4yrs, i had no choice but was forced to give up..
no matter wat i say or do wun save it de..
pls giv mi more time to get recover.. i really wish i can do it lor..
everyday stayin at hm wil make mi go crazy, giv mi space to hav wild imagination lor.. so if guys got any outting, dun forget abt mi.. i'm free for everytin liao..
cos I'M SINGLE & available..
how i wish i dun hav to spend such days, cos i believe i can b a gd lover.. i noe i mus hav did smth wrong but he say al his fault.. i can nv forgive tat bitch.. i'l hate her to core.. dun ever let mi c her..
i wish he'l hav gd future, but i dun wish his other partner is her.. i wana cursed her, no gd life lor.. being 3rd party, look so bitchy & slutish.. small actions... yucks.. she sucks to core..
frens, if can pls help mi, save mi.. cos i'm really hurt in tis relationship.. wil i trust guys? wil i believe in another relation? or my life is suppose to b single 4eva?
i'm so sad, cried for 3 days.. been so tired.. finally forced to give up on him. there's no way i can do le so yah i hav to force myself lor.. but its so difficult.. my heart is so painful.. how i wish i can end al tis..
al become memories.. al tots can nv fulfil.. i can nv go support him in Taka, can nv participate in Chingay 2006..
I'm so sad now.. really cant control my tears liao.. but i stil hav lots of frens ard to hear my complains.. hope wun irritate u.. hope u'l b there for mi..
4:47 PM