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a b o u t . m e

Named Gilliam Ang
Born in 16 Nov 1983.
Regional Sales Coordinator in Epson.
Student of SIM - RMIT University.
Hope my wishes will come true soon.

w a n t e d

* A caring, loving HIM
* Save lots of $$$
* Holiday Getaway
* Get married on 09/09/09 or 20/09/2009, possible?
* w@ns to |ivE h@pPi|y eVer aFteR
* Coach Sling bag
* Burberry Blue Label Bag
* Ipod Nano
* LV wallet
*~ HaVe a m3mOr@b|e, uNfOrGetTab|e bDaY

| i n K i e s



p | a y | i s t s



t | m 3 t A b | e
January - June

m 3 m 0 r | E s
June 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
September 2007
November 2007

Sunday, July 31, 2005


So confused now..
nth much to say here..

if wana noe the truth, in my blog & in friendster profile & testi, u can find the ans le.. no pt hearing to one side story only lor.

tml when i'm free & fine wil upload more of Enen's photography.. he's the 3rd impt person in Jayson's wedding.. cos he's their god-son cum flowerboy.. cos he's so adorable so alot of photos got feaure him lor.
& wil oso upload bro's wedding pics in his blog.


HuRt Is PaRt Of BeInG iN LoVe.. AnD LoVe Is PaRt Of BeInG aLiVe..

11:42 PM



Saturday, July 30, 2005


2day is a bad day for mi..

Dun wish to elaborate more..

Al i can say is I HATE BITCH, hypocrites, slut.

Smtin terrible oso happen at home.. Grandma suddenly lost memory, doc came up to check on her..
Minor stroke but within 24hrs, hav medicine wil recover.. & now i'm back hm, she's ok le.

I hate 2day.. I hate dem..


HuRt Is PaRt Of BeInG iN LoVe.. AnD LoVe Is PaRt Of BeInG aLiVe..

7:25 PM



Wah!

Relan Dragon & Lion Arts Group launching ceremony is a success..

Great performance by all the members.
Many thanks to the committes & members.

1st performance is Darling playing 3 drums, GREAT!! i love the way he looked so focused and doing it wholeheartedly.
goin on got 'dian shi' on 4 new lions, Richao's lion dance, Yanzi's wushu, Japanese sinsei's fire shooting stars, 3 lion dance by Japanese troupe (all r gals loh), 'dian long' on the new pinkish dragon (color very nice) & of cos dragon dance loh..

last but not least, the video clips of ah heng.. felt like crying when i saw it.

Hehe!! i did contribute smth to dem oso, by helpin to carry the trays of flowers on stage.
Quite happy tat i can do smth for dem.

Overall, 2day's mood is nt very gd.. alot of tins bothering mi.
Cant believe tat bitch/slut exist in tis world.. Hated dem to the core.

ok gotta slp le.. my eyes r so tired.
Darling c u on sun le...


HuRt Is PaRt Of BeInG iN LoVe.. AnD LoVe Is PaRt Of BeInG aLiVe..

1:31 AM



Friday, July 29, 2005


Wah!! so late liao y m i stil awake?

Flu recover, feeling slpin & hungry so cant get into dreamland leh..
So went online do nth, drank a cup of milo.. so sld b able to slp le but now i not so tired liao..

Tml mus wake up early go Hougang Mall to pay bills & go bank on mum's behalf..
so sian.. afternoon go sure very hot de.. so morning go, afternoon go find my little sweetie, Shermine.. I've got 2 days nv c her le.. duno wat new stunts she learnt..


Taken 2 days ago..

Jus now hear abit of Dear voice only.. cos he pass the fone to wendy & johnny..
will meet wendy at 6.30pm, den johnny cal to ask mi wear smth presentable cos mus go on stage.. dun really understand wat he mean.. but aft deep thinkin, mayb i'l wear a black dress ba.. easier. no ned to tin of wat to pei. msg Bee told him wat i'm wearing, but duno can anot leh so waitin for his reply.. cos i dun wana wear too exagerrating & go there let ppl luf lor.. smmore its a big event oso cant wear too casual ba..

ok go slp le.. else tml b panda le not nice.. hehe :p
*happy mood*


HuRt Is PaRt Of BeInG iN LoVe.. AnD LoVe Is PaRt Of BeInG aLiVe..

1:38 AM



Thursday, July 28, 2005


Is tml a gd day?

It's the new beginning of the Relan Dragon & Lion Arts Group..

Yeah!! tml can go hougang cc to join tis big event..

2day got flu.. :( but afternoon stil went out..
having the urge to go shopping.. so aft having lunch, headed to lavender..
went to Darling's hse to change his bedsheet & sweep the floor.
Wah!! sick & hot, sweat alot & nose dropping off le..
aft tat had a quick nap b4 goin to Bugis.
5pm went out to Bugis, went to get the Mickey mouse slipper.. so cute lor..
Love it!!

den went Nouveau (smth like tat) to repair the lighter wich i bought for him.
aft tested, no faulty mah but y he claim tat its spoil & stop using it. Or is it bcos i've engraved our names on it tats y he dun wana use it. den bought a new zippo refill for him.

5.30pm, took a train to orchard to meet sis.
wana go future state & c&k to take a look de but in the end bought nth.
very tired so quickly went home.. no strength to walk le + hungry..

Darling dey al jus now went hougang cc for rehearsal but i cant go over to find him..
wana c tv, feel weak.. But jus heard his voice.. thou nt tokin to him lah..

Surprising, i rcv a msg fr someone.. someone whom i really wish to contact & noe her long ago but cos of some reasons i cant do it..
replied her & hope to noe her more.


HuRt Is PaRt Of BeInG iN LoVe.. AnD LoVe Is PaRt Of BeInG aLiVe..

9:29 PM



Tuesday, July 26, 2005


Last week, used 2 days to watch a Korean serial drama.. everytin seems nt bad but the ending sucks..

Wana get a low-heel shoe & a slipper. but duno wat kind gd. but the slipper mite b mickey mouse de.. so cute lor. Was told 5-7 Aug Metro 20% sales.. Yeah!!! wana get some inner-wear le.

JBCC 'da ri zi' suppose to b 30th but changed to 29th. Duno can Enen go c anot.. since he like it so much.. so no ned say, Darling is very busy tis few days lor.. busy training a total of 4 drums (3 drums perform alone, 1 drum is for the lion dance performance de). Hope he can do well as he jus trained since last fri.

time flies very fast.. next wk there's a special day for mi. duno how sld i plan cos i noe his busy schedule. but hope he can plan his time for mi lor.


HuRt Is PaRt Of BeInG iN LoVe.. AnD LoVe Is PaRt Of BeInG aLiVe..

12:50 PM



Saturday, July 23, 2005


There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real!

When the door of happiness closes, another opens;
but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one, which has been opened for us.

Don't go for looks; they can deceive.
Don't go for wealth; even that fades away.
Go for someone who makes you smile,
because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.
Find the one that makes your heart smile.

Dream what you want to dream;
go where you want to go;
be what you want to be,
because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,
enough trials to make you strong,
enough sorrow to keep you human and
enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily happiness the best of everything;
they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past;
you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so at the end,
you're the one who is smiling and
everyone around you is crying.

Don't count the years-count the memories...



HuRt Is PaRt Of BeInG iN LoVe.. AnD LoVe Is PaRt Of BeInG aLiVe..

7:05 PM



Monday, July 18, 2005


To buy or not to buy?

soon it'l b our 4th anni & i'm lookin forward to tis day.. thou i've been sufferin for the past few mths, i look forward to the future. i wana live for the future & leave behind those unhappiness in the past, keep memories of happiness.

tis evening met Dear at Sengkang to shop. cos long time nv been to Compass Point liao. but went there nth much, aft having early dinner, took the train to Kovan. cos he's lookin for the nike slipper wich i din managed to get it at Queensway. den his sport shoe wich he wear to work spoilt. so was tinkin sld i get him the slipper or a new shoe? i can only afford 1 lor due to my low savings.. walked round the mall a few times, he found a adidas de cost almost $70. but i duno y he wana get branded 1 lor when he jus wearing it to work. abit wasted rite? den he choose a New Balance de ard $50. to me i stil dun wana buy. & i say go queensway to c when he's free as there r more design n price oso ok. but soon i sense his bad attitude.. until now, he's stil showin mi his nt happy attitude. ok since i alr decided to get 1 for him le y sld i care for the price.. on my way hm alone, i decided to buy for him the shoe, but he mus giv mi some $ for it lah.. cos i tin 1 sldn't buy shoe for their gf/bf as it means dey wil leave u for other gal/guy. to me of cos i dun wish tis to happen to mi so i'l take $ fr him. i feel upset when he tok to mi sian sian de. den jus now when i told him my decision, he's nt interested liao. he dun wana go shop for shoe, dun wan mi to buy liao even if i say its our anni gift. dun understand wat he's up to now. y suddenly dun wan le? y giving mi 'bu shuang' face like i'm forcing him? y tokin to mi in 'bu gan yuan' tone?

I REALLY DUN UNDERSTAND!!!

i choose tis road so i hav to bear the consequences..
ever heard of the monkey story? my cousin told mi de & yes, i'm learning fr tis story...
jus hope i can find another branch soon n let my hands off fr tis branch.

i've been controlling myself liao, keeping my promise. wat abt u?

fr ur recent email, i'm happy to c tis:
Miss u LOVE u dear
Wake up msg mi hor....
i wil b waitin for ur msg
BYE!!! BYE!!!!
From:bee

i shall wait for the day when u r free to go shopping wif mi. to get the gift tat u wan.
i hope i can stil keep my promise if u can keep ur words oso.
Days wif u r so wonderful. Wif u ard mi, my life is full of colors. but nt wif ur attitude ard u lah..


HuRt Is PaRt Of BeInG iN LoVe.. AnD LoVe Is PaRt Of BeInG aLiVe..

11:29 PM



Sunday, July 17, 2005


2day Dear busy wif chu shi & training & meeting.. so we din meet..

& i become a lightbulb whole day.. went out wif my bro & his gf..

went to Queensway, bro wana collect his $ as dey sold his roller blade liao.. den mi goin there is to find a Nike slipper wich Dear wanted.. wana check price but when wana buy, dun hav suitable size liao.. haiz.. bo bian mus go other places to find le..

den walked to IKEA, had the hotdog sandwich.. fr there, duno when i stained my pants wif sauces.. stil walked ard IKEA wif such dirty pants.. HAHA!! bo bian volunteer to carry my bro's bag so tat i can cover the stain..

took 33 to bugis, walked to SLS to check price for ram & graphic card.. but bro din buy yet.. went to bugis village to shop for a bottom for mi.. saw many bottoms, but duno wat i wan lor.. in the end bought a skirt.


Haiz.. its minnie mouse.. wana get mickey de but last piece is Small (too fat le cnt wear) :(
But stil ok lah.. beta den nth.. else dun hav bottoms tat i like liao.

so tired now.. slp very late last nite bcos of some reason.. tired but happy.. cos JBCC gets into the final..
chances of getting in r slim cos there r 58 troupes competing in the traditional category & only 8 troupes gets into final.. not jus hav luck but most imptly is skill lor..


HuRt Is PaRt Of BeInG iN LoVe.. AnD LoVe Is PaRt Of BeInG aLiVe..

10:05 PM



Yeah!!!

Managed to get into finals le.. Out of 14 teams, dey came in 2nd in the semi-final..
So happy now..

The final wil b at Taka held on sep..


HuRt Is PaRt Of BeInG iN LoVe.. AnD LoVe Is PaRt Of BeInG aLiVe..

12:12 PM



Thursday, July 14, 2005


ok here's the photo of mi & shermine..



Haiz.. very moody now..

tml is their competition liao.. God, pls help dem to get in final.. really wish dey can get in..


HuRt Is PaRt Of BeInG iN LoVe.. AnD LoVe Is PaRt Of BeInG aLiVe..

7:59 PM



Tuesday, July 12, 2005


Lets see...


Our 4 yrs old angel, Enen..
Smart, Handsome, Cute, Adorable, Intelligent boy..


Our 4 mths old stars, Shermine..

All of U wil sure love dem jus like mi..


HuRt Is PaRt Of BeInG iN LoVe.. AnD LoVe Is PaRt Of BeInG aLiVe..

3:14 PM



Monday, July 11, 2005


Was so tiring yesterday.. but i had a nice day oso..
its a happy occasion & i can c Enen again..

Pic 1

When he reach my hse in the morning.. Look at him, smart & handsome rite?

Pic 2
He's enjoying himself playing miniclips..

Pic 3 Pic 4 Pic 5

Taken in Johnny's car.

Pic 6 Pic 7 Pic 8

At the Ballroom reception area.

Have taken 1 photo of mi & Shermine but its nt wif mi.. wil post it soon..


HuRt Is PaRt Of BeInG iN LoVe.. AnD LoVe Is PaRt Of BeInG aLiVe..

2:27 PM



Saturday, July 09, 2005


Wah.. mi whole day at home leh..
Morning went out for breakfast at Serangoon & gets to c Enen.. Yeah!! tml can c him oso le..
So happy..

2day Dear is busy working so nv meet. So mi at home doin my own pedicure & manicure lor.. Save $ oso.. so fast.. tml is jayson's wedding le..

Now Energy is having their concert at Spore Indoor Stadium.. haiz cnt go c.. sianz..

2nite mus try to slp earlier cos tml mus wake up early.


HuRt Is PaRt Of BeInG iN LoVe.. AnD LoVe Is PaRt Of BeInG aLiVe..

9:42 PM



Friday, July 08, 2005


Hehe.. U noe wat, tis few days i'm feeling quite happy.. living happily is so impt in life..

Yesterday morning went out.. made an appt to color & trim my hair @ lucky plaza..
Let the stylist decide on the color but i jus wan natural color.. n after triming, he divide my hair into 5 portions & using 5 diff colors to dye..

The result looks ok to mi.. nt too exagerrating lor.. at 1st i tot wah 5 colors ah wait like ah lian den die..
Total spent $95 on it.. quite worth it lah cos it neds alot of effort to dye..

after visiting the salon, mi & meiyun (my bro gf) went shopping.. saw triumph's latest bra & i'm aiming for it.. i've long waited a bra like tat but Spore dun hav.. but the price is $69.90 leh.. mus save up le..

we walked fr CK Tangs to Far East den to Wisma n headed straight to PS.. cos i wana buy the nail remover fr The Face Shop.. if i were to recommend i'l recommend tat lor.. cos it smell so nice.. & oso bought a nail polish for tis sun occasion. den we went back kovan n its time to meet Darling for dinner.. den ask bro & meiyun along lor..

So in fact yesterday my mood is super gd.. & i'l continue to hav tis mood everyday so tat i'm happy..


Taken at Sakae Sushi Kovan.. I love tis pic alot.. Look gd?


Aft dinner went to Level 2 to take Neoprint.. This is the 2nd design tat I hav.. & so qiao, both words r Love Forever.. hehe :p


Ugly Me.. Y i so fat, so round?


Baby Shermine.. She's now botak le..
Lata shall go down to play wif her & take some pics of her..


HuRt Is PaRt Of BeInG iN LoVe.. AnD LoVe Is PaRt Of BeInG aLiVe..

3:26 PM



Thursday, July 07, 2005


GUYS PLEASE TREASURE UR GIRLFRIENDS!!

This is really sad. If you have problems in your relationships, try and fix them. Dont pretend its okay. Dont push your girls away, they are everything to you. Maybe the best thing for you. Listen to them, Treat them like princesses, go out of your way once and a while for them, take care of them when they are sad, and dont let go.

Girl: hey baby i want to show you....
Boy: ( cutting her off ) ugh i'm so mad
Girl: why? whats wrong?
Boy: ugh everything
Girl: explain baby
Boy: just lost a championship game, parents flipped out on me for no reason, and im catching a cold
Girl: well hey there will always be other games, you know ill take care of you when your sick, what your parents flip about?
Boy: they are making me pay them for a car repair
Girl: is it alot of money
Boy: no it just sucks
Boy: but hey i dont feel well im going to go lay down
Boy: bye
Girl: wait i want to give you some...
Boy: cant it wait til tommorow?
Girl: yeah sure
Girl: bye
Boy: bye

2 hours later a friend of hers asks her to go for a drive ...
she goes.....
her friend swerved to avoid a truck....
hitting a tree instead her friend was killed instantly....
shes in critical condition

This is the conversation between her sister and her boyfriend
Sister: omg ( crying )
Boy: what? whats wrong?
Sister: my sister... your gf was involved in a major car wreck
Boy: is she ok ? ?????
Sister: shes in critical condition
Boy: i'll be there in 10 minutes

He shows up to the hospital room ... standing outside the door going over the last conversation in his mind over and over as he heard the machines beep and beep and breathing tubes pump

Boy: she wanted to give me something or tell me something
Girls mom: yeah this...

it was an envelope smelling like she did sealed with a kiss in lipstick
he opened it.....it said ..... your everything to me....i love you with everything i amand everything i have... i want to spend the rest of my life with you
sealed in it was a ripped movie ticket from the first movie they went to and the first picture they took together he kissed the picture as a tear fell from his face onto the picture
it looked as if in the picture she was crying then the machines flatlined....

3 minutes later she was pronounced dead


HuRt Is PaRt Of BeInG iN LoVe.. AnD LoVe Is PaRt Of BeInG aLiVe..

9:14 PM



Wednesday, July 06, 2005


Daniel and Jasmine are sitting alone inthe park one night....

Daniel: I guess we are the left overs in this world
Jasmine: I think so... All of my friends have boyfriends and we are only the 2 persons left in this world without any special person in our lives
Daniel: Yup I don't know what to do
Jasmine: I know! We'll play a game
Daniel: What game?
Jasmine: i'll be your girl friend for 30 days and you will be my boy friend
Daniel: That's a great plan in fact i don't anything to do for the following weeks...

DAY 1: They watch their first movie and they both touched in a romantic film

DAY 4: They went to the beach and have a picnic... Daniel and Jasmine have their quality time together

DAY 12: Daniel invited Jasmine to a circus and they ride on a Horror House.... Jasmine was scared and she touched Daniel's hand but she touched someone else's hand and they both laughed...

DAY 15: They saw a fortune teller down the road and they asked for their future advice and the fortune teller said: "My darling, Please don't waste the time of your life... SPend the rest of your time together happily" Then tears flow out from the teller's eyes

DAY 20: Jasmine invited Daniel to go to the hill and they saw a meteor... Jasmine mumbled something

DAY 28: They sat on the bus and because of a bumby road Jasmine gave her first kiss to Daniel by accident

DAY 29:
11:37pm Jasmine and Daniel sat in the park where they first decided to play this game...
Daniel: I'm tired Jasmine...Do you want any drinks? I'll buy you one.. I'll just go down the road
Jasmine: Apple Juice that's all
Daniel: Wait for me....

20mins later... a stranger approached Jasmine
Stranger: Are you a friend of Daniel?
Jasmine: Why yes? What happened?
Stranger: A reckless drunken driver ran over Daniel and he is critical in the hospital

11:57pm The doctor went out of the emergency room and he handed out an apple juice and a letter
Doctor: We found this in daniel's pocket
Jasmine reads the letter and it says: Jasmine, This past few days, i realized you are areally cute girl and i am really falling for you..Your cherish smile your everything when we played this game..... Before this game would end...I would like you to be my girl friend for the rest of my life.... Ilove you Jasmine....

Jasmine crumples the paper and shouted: "Daniel ! i don't want you to die... I love you...Remember that night when we saw a meteor, I mumbled something... I mumbled that I wish we would be together forever and never end this game. Please don't leave me Daniel.... I love you! You cannot do this to me!"

Then the clock strikes 12
Daniel's heart stop pumping

THEN IT WAS THE 30TH DAY........


HuRt Is PaRt Of BeInG iN LoVe.. AnD LoVe Is PaRt Of BeInG aLiVe..

6:58 PM



Tuesday, July 05, 2005


Oops.. Y suddenly got another gal pop out..

But the whole tins i'm stil very blur n wil wana clarify wif him..

He busy telling lies to me den i now busy guessing & having imaginations..

Oh.. Tis thurs Shermine 4 mth old le (in Lunar calendar).. & she neds to cut botak le..



Hehe.. I carried her again.. Sunday wil carry her again to take foto.. nice 1.. cos she'l b wearing a very pretty sweet pink suit..

Few more hrs n Bee's bday wil b over.. but mi stil haven had a nice dinner wif him.. :(
Duno where exactly is he at.. but i only noe mi now at hm waiting n tinking..

Thurs mi wana go cut hair shun bian color & highlight.. den sun cousin wedding..

Tis wk duno can c Dear for how long only..


HuRt Is PaRt Of BeInG iN LoVe.. AnD LoVe Is PaRt Of BeInG aLiVe..

9:32 PM



Today is my Dearest Qingfa's 22nd bday...

Haiz.. Y m i at hm now? i sld b spending the day wif him mah.. Cos he claim tat he ned to work ot as the shipments needs to b out by fri.. (half believe, half suspicious)

Ok.. yesterday aft bargaining wif him, I LOSE the battle.. so 2day i cant celebrate wif him.. he say tml den meet mi but our final conclusion is tml he go for training & mayb meet mi on thur. I dun wana delay their training as comp is getting nearer le.. 10 days to go..

Yesterday evening meet Vivien.. went to buy his bday gift den we had dinner together n when shops r closing we stand aside to tok for awhile b4 leaving..

Darling's bday present: a Zippo lighter wif our names engraved on it..
Lighter

& oso went to Four Leaves to get a small piece of cake. nobody eat so no pt buyin so big 1.
Cake

den i went over to his hse to wait for him.. since i cant had bday dinner wif him, i shall countdown to his bday n b No. 1..
Pic

He's tired, so entertain mi lor.. Eyes closing le..

In the bedroom, ready for Lights off.. such messy hair..
Pic

I love tis pic the most among all..


Morning Dear went out to work n mi slpin alone until noon... Den wake up bath & get ready, waiting for Darling to come back n bath den go eat lunch together b4 goin hm..

Aft cracking my brain for so long, bargaining & argueing wif him, now its past..
Thou tis yr i din spend my day wif him, having a nice dinner 2gether, i'm sad but yet happy cos last nite i'm wif him. The 1st person to b at his side aft 12 midnight..

I admit i'm having wild imagination but i hope al tis is jus an imagination & nt true.. cos i dun wish al those bad tins wil happen..


HuRt Is PaRt Of BeInG iN LoVe.. AnD LoVe Is PaRt Of BeInG aLiVe..

5:03 PM



Monday, July 04, 2005


Will a dream appears to be true? Same place, same action.. But the dream happens quite some times ago leh..

I once had a dream but din take it as real cos it wun happen to me de.. but saturday nite, when i was at the scene, it appears to me that tis scenario is so true & i've seen it b4..

So if dream can b true, y nt let mi dream abt my future & his?


HuRt Is PaRt Of BeInG iN LoVe.. AnD LoVe Is PaRt Of BeInG aLiVe..

12:52 PM



Sunday, July 03, 2005


Yesterday nite went out. Purpose is to go his hse wait for him. I noe i wil kena scold by him lor cos i din let him noe tat i'm goin over. When i reach his hse, he called back but his dad din tel him i'm there. Duno y tis smart guy noe lor, cos his dad merely ask him wat time coming home a few times.. But since he noe i'm there, he din even bother to cal mi at al lor..

Me there waited & tok alot to his sis..
11.30pm, his sis asked mi to cal n c wat time he's coming back but i dun wan cos i scare he scold mi. den his sis called him lor. den he asked his sis m i there but startin his sis denied as told by mi but lata she say yes.. cos he wana ask mi go out to meet him & his frens. but when i ans the fone, YES he qns mi, so fierce.. i hated his attitude & jus hang up the cal.. he has yet to ask mi out lor.. den his sis told mi his purpose den i bo bian msg him lor..

Even his sis encourage mi to go meet him.. N so i took a cab down to Parklane to meet him.
When his sis called him, he say jus off work. but when i reach there, dey drank quite alot le.. so how can it b jus reach leh..

I admit tat i'm angry wif him cos again he break his words but i'm glad tat he asked mi along.
When i was there, his fone vibrate. But when i asked, he said its his fren de (the guy sitting beside him). But lata it vibrate again den i wana took the fone fr him to c but he die die oso wun take out de lor cos duno wich gal of his cal him. Even when he go toilet, it wil took more time to come back cos he's calling her mah..

Seeing his fren & gf so loving, i really envy dem lor.. y mi & him cant b like tat? now his heart is wif who? When i was wif him, i felt there's a big gap between us.. As my bf, he din hold my hands, walkin on our own. Its like total strangers or normal frens lor..

Slp ard 4 last nite n wake up at 11.30 tis morning to get ready.. goin to bedok cc to watch lion dance comp.. Darling wana go support his frens.. Left at 3+, went hm alone cos Bee need to rush back to cc for meetin at 4pm. Thou he din accompany mi to the interchange, but bcos of mi he din sit free ride back lor.. At there, oso met Vivien cos yz is competing mah.. Sat n tok lor..

Tok to his sis & she oso got nth to say abt his bro. Being so playful & a flirt, scold le oso no use. n he jus wun change de cos he jus stepped into the real society. I felt so sad.. Even his sis said she noe a gal cal doreen got cal him everynite.. so wats their relationship? U noe I noe lah.. Its so obvious le.. & tis mth again i din managed to get my $ back, cos he paid bil & return fren + every sat go pub or spend on the bitch (?mayb?).. If tis carries on, how many yrs lata i ned to wait to get back every cents?

Even giving him a surprise, i'l get scolding.. Y he wil nv appreciate wat i do? So tml & the day aft wat sld i do?

a shocking news tat i noe last nite.. He went to c doc on wed & had 3 days mc staying at hm slp whole day & training.. But he told mi he went to work.. I din notice at al lor n his sis tot i noe.. & he din even wana tel mi anytin abt it.. Last nite jus say mayb nt meeting mi tis 2 days le.. N i SUPER angry lor.. dun tel mi tat u r busy wif OT cos u deserve it.. I wun let u go work de lor.. cos u purposely took 3 days mc not to clear ur orders.. Or mayb u decided to leave tis 2 days for her? So despite knowin tat u wil b angry wif mi & scold mi, guess i noe how i sld do le..

I felt so depressed. I noe the gap is getting bigger thru ur actions & sttitude to me. But i stil wun giv up even if u choose her. I'l nv giv in to her de.. I stil love u like b4. When i feel tat ur heart is nt wif mi, i really duno wat i sld do. I jus hav ur body only. but tis is nt wat i wan only. Or mayb u tel mi the main reason for changing at least i noe where i'm wrong.. so now no matter wat i do u wun get touched. n even if i finally decided to leave u, i tin u wun regret doin tis lor cos u took away fr heart & u broken mine. U shall noe who is the 1 who truely love u. Now my request is to spend more time wif u.. y cant u fulfil dem?

Everytime when i type these, my tears fall... Haiz.. how long does i ned to giv up totally? Or how long wil it takes to let u change? i noe 1 main reason for al these is bcos i interfere too much, tied u up & so u wana find new de. I noe i can only let nature take course cos now wat i say is useless. no one wil pity mi cos i deserve it. i can only blame myself for caring u too much & my jealousy make it worse.

I jus wan to meet u every wk, tok everyday n b wif u for impt dates.. pls fulfil my wishes.
& since u dun take initiative of wat a guy wil do to his gf, den let mi b the guy to take initiative. lucky u din reject.

n now if u ask mi wat kind of ppl i hated most - BITCHes, destroying other ppl's relationship de 3rd party.
But if u noe how to 'tui chu' n nv get into tat triangle again, i can forgive u lor.. so long as u noe wat u did is wrong.. but for those who said dey r married le & yet b a bitch, i'l hate u to the core. Currently there's 1 in my mind le.. but i'l not do anytin nasty yet.. cos his heart is wif her.. Even his sis dun understand y he'l turn like tat leh..

HAIZ~~~


HuRt Is PaRt Of BeInG iN LoVe.. AnD LoVe Is PaRt Of BeInG aLiVe..

6:59 PM



Friday, July 01, 2005


Its the beginning of July.. tis mth there r quite a few tins happening...

5th - My Daring's bday
9th - Energy concert
10th - Jayson's wedding
15th - Darling's competition
30th - JBCC event day

But now i'm cracking my mind how sld i celebrate his bday so tat its memorable to mi.. Yes to me cos only i'l appreciate tins tat i do n not him..

Y mus there b so many orders to rush when I wana spend time wif him? Cant b bothered if he's lying to me.. Since he wana lie, no matter how i ask he stil ignore de lor..

I duno wil he read my blog.. so i dun wana say too much.
Tis period is worse den the time when he's in NS lor.. like tat i rather he sign on..
Or mayb i sld say if he noes how to tin, al tis wun happen le..

"A person who never think of his future will never go ahead of his life"

We haven meet for a wk le.. For me, i wish to spend more time wif him cos i treasure him.. But he's so busy wif his work, training & mayb dating.. where got time for a tiny ME?

365 days a year,
30 days a mth,
7 days a wk,
24 hrs a day,
60 mins an hr,
60 secs a min.

How many days we meet in a wk?
How many hrs is our meeting?
How long we tok in the fone?

All these ans u sld noe beta den mi lor..
U noe how much i love u & how much i sacrifice for u.. but how do u treat mi n wats ur personal reason?

I duno y i choose to stick wif u.. Giving u chance to hurt mi..
Compare to my previous ones, u r nt a gd bf. 1 who duno gals heart n dun care for dem de..
BUT i noe tat my choice is U. Jus hope tat al tis can end & i dun hav to suffer anymore.


HuRt Is PaRt Of BeInG iN LoVe.. AnD LoVe Is PaRt Of BeInG aLiVe..

6:24 PM